January Smilebox Update

I haven't been doing much on this blog, but I have been writing a lot on my examiner column, sticking with my "alphabet year of dating" theme. January is typically a month I don't much dating... it's cold and dark and I'd rather be home. And even though most of my "dates" have been friends rather than romantic dates, I have been getting out a lot more, keeping with my resolution to "celebrate" each letter of the alphabet for two weeks.

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Alphabet dating

I've been waiting for New Years to begin my Alphabet-theme weeks and even though 2012 is only a few days old, I'm already having fun.

Basically it works like this. There are 52 weeks in the year and 26 letters in the alphabet so that means we have a new letter to celebrate every two weeks. Currently, our letter is 'A' but on January 15th, we'll switch to 'B.' My plan is to go on at least one date or do some kind of activity centered around the bi-weekly letter.

Since I'm the Boulder Dating Adviser, I'll write about the letter-themed dates and maybe even compile them for a book at the end of the year.

I already have

Alphabet dating throughout the year and A-week assignment: Assemble foods that start with the letter A.

There are also plenty of 'A'-words related to dating: Attraction, Arousal, Aphrodisiacs, Adoration, Affirmations, Appreciation, Authenticity, Appearance, Affection, Awkwardness, Anticipation... Certainly, I have an Abundance to choose from if I'm trying to come up with a topic to write about!

I did these letter-theme weeks in 2004 with Scotty and had a lot of fun with it. He was 9 at the time. Every other Saturday, we'd have a day dedicated to the letter of the week and it was like a scavenger hunt the whole day. We went to Arvada Center for the Arts and Arbys for lunch during A weeks and the Butterfly Pavilion, Boondocks, and Burger King when the letter was 'B.' It was a lot harder to find activities when we got to the end of the alphabet, but with a little creativity, we always came up with something fun. We even have a photo album that shows pictures we took during each outing.


Even though I had tons of fun finding kid activities with Scotty, I'm looking forward to applying this same concept to dating. (Maybe I'll even get to do some X-rated activity in X weeks!)Having a "letter" is a great way to make a decision about where to go on a date and to try out new places. And my first experiment with using it as a way to figure out what to make for dinner turned out AWESOME!

It really would be so much more fun if I could find other people who were playing along, though, and get some comments, ideas, or some discussion going.

I'd love it if you'd come subscribe to my examiner column and let me know all your creative dating ideas!

The Last Love Drop

Looking for a way to help during the holidays? Consider the Love Drop.Every month they help a family in need, but this will be the last one, so if you want to help, now's the time! I've offered to help spread the word via my blog so here's the message from J$ and Nate:

Help give a Love Drop this season!

This Christmas the team's coming together for Diomi and her son Nallee, who are going into the cold Milwaukee winter with very little food, clothes, and other necessities. Diomi has been through so much, including the loss of her father, the loss of her job, and clinical depression. But even through the pain you can see all the love she has for Nallee, who has one of the most beautiful personalities you'll find. :)

We want to make this month special for them! We're working with their pastor to help get things they really need, including school uniforms for Nallee, interview clothes for Diomi as she looks for a job, and food to help them through the winter months.

If you can find it in your hearts to give one extra gift this year, whether it be money or a helpful item they can use, please send it in - our goal is to reach $3,000 worth of necessities.

Want to join us in helping Diomi and Nallee? Here are 3 ways:

1. Give $1.00 - This money will be put towards basic necessities and care. Maybe even a Christmas present or two (They're currently spending it alone, w/out anything at all).
2. Give a gift card - Gift cards are extremely helpful, especially to places that are national.
3. Donate personal products -These two need anything you can thing of in the personal product department: bathroom/kitchen/bedroom stuff, etc.

Just Do It! Flash Mobbing at DIA

Yesterday I did something that's been on my "bucket list" for awhile: Participate in a Flash Mob! This is the kind of thing that once upon a time I'd sit back and say, "I want to do that, but ...I can't dance well enough, or ...I don't have a boyfriend, or ...my boyfriend doesn't like to dance or ...[other lame excuse.]

It's time to stop making excuses and Just Do It! So what if you're a newbie? Everyone is a newbie some time. As for waiting until you have a "partner," I have learned very well that it's easy enough to find someone else who doesn't have a "partner" and wants to have fun. In fact, many people who are partnered up in marriage or relationships often miss out on doing things that their partner doesn't want to do!

I actually have been dating a guy for the past few months, but he couldn't do this with me, so I just emailed a new friend (someone I knew had that "Just Do It!" attitude) and even though he, too, was a newbie, he said he'd love to participate! Sometimes we are all so afraid of taking risks, we don't even try. What's on your bucket list? What's holding you back? Just do it!

Staying Healthy and Active After Cancer

The other day I got an email from someone who asked if he could write a guest post on my blog. Trevor Bradshaw (trevorsendeavors@gmail.com) is an aspiring writer, a health nut, and brother to a cancer survivor and is very passionate about writing about cancer and health. Read on to hear what he has to say about staying healthy. This is good advice not only for cancer recovery, but for cancer prevention!

For many people, a cancer diagnosis can be a life changing experience. While chemotherapy can be effective at treating many types of cancer, lifestyle can have a significant impact on the body's ability to heal and recover.

It's important maintain a healthy style before, during, and after cancer. Diet has a significant impact on overall health. Diets rich in fruits and vegetables have been shown to lower the risk of cancer in many people, and will help during the recovery process. It's important to watch one's weight, as obesity can impact the immune system's ability to heal the body.

There are several simple diet tips to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Avoid eating foods with refined sugars and carbohydrates, such as white bread, potatoes, candy, and soda. Many processed meats and cheeses contain high levels of nitrates, preservatives that can cause systemic inflammation in the body. Diets rich in meat and cheese can also cause inflammation, which will reduce the body's ability to heal. It's important to include omega-3 fatty acids in a diet. Omega-3 can be found in fish, nuts, and flax seed.

Exercise is essential after a cancer diagnosis. An active lifestyle offers many health benefits to cancer survivors, and can improve recovery time. Exercise doesn't have to be complicated: a 30 minute walk outdoors is a great way to start. There are many low impact physical activities that are great for cancer patients. Swimming can be a great way exercise and tone the entire body, without putting excessive stress on joints or tendons.

Yoga is a great way for cancer patients and survivors to stay healthy and relaxed. Yoga is a type of meditation, combined with physical poses. Yoga is designed to stretch and exercise the entire body, without putting excessive strain on any individual part. Many yoga classes teach students how to relax through breathing exercises, and can show cancer patients and survivors how to relax.

Exercise releases natural painkillers, called endorphins. During cancer treatment and chemotherapy, many patients may experience systemic pain throughout the body. Exercise can help lower pain without the use of dangerous analgesics.

In addition, exercise can be a great way to beat depression. Cancer can be a scary experience, and it's important to maintain a positive attitude during recovery. Exercise can improve mood, improve recovery time, lower pain. While cancer does require medical treatment, maintaining a healthy life can help recovery times and prevent recurrence.

Milkshake - All that's good!

The thing about blogging is that the more you explore, the more sites you find that are doing wonderful things. I started The Love Project at the beginning of the year and, as a result, I found a bunch of other sites that are about spreading the love. And those sites promote other sites and soon you realize the world is full of so many good people, making a difference and spreading goodness.

One of those sites which I discovered recently is "Milkshake." I get a daily newsletter from Milkshake that is (in their words): "dedicated to finding the good in everything: Companies, causes, people, places and products which give back and make a difference."

I've been getting the daily email for about two weeks now, and I'm always inspired by the messages and products and cool causes they promote. I encourage you to check it out for yourself!

Ten reasons to subscribe to...

..my relationship column on Examiner.com

To learn:

1. How to make dating fun
2. How to reconnect with a spouse or partner
3. How to pick a great venue for a date
4. How to date successfully
5. How to navigate the online dating sites
6. How to play on a date
7. How to get over insecurities and build confidence
8. How to get dates
9. How to build intimacy
10. How to banish dating fears

But even if you don't need to learn these things, subscribe for these reasons:

1. To help teach others
2. If you have a business, product or event, I may be able to help you promote it
3. Spark conversation
4. Make new friends (maybe even a date!!)
5. Ask questions
6. Trade links
7. Help spread the word
8. Help me make a little cash! (If I get a certain number of subscribers, my pay level gets bumped up.)

Everyone (whether single or married, male or female, old or young) would benefit from dating. So, go ahead! Subscribe!!

November Love Drop: Marci from Colorado

This month I resolved to blog more and stay on top of things like the Love Drop, so when I got the email this morning, I watched the video right away.

This one really hit home for me. First of all, Fort Collins is only an hour away... maybe I'll even tag along for the actual "drop" and meet Marci and her family. Secondly, I have good friends who are breast cancer survivors so I am close to the cause. And finally, I am a mother, and I'm certain Marci wants to be healthy not just for herself, but for her children and husband.

Please pass the word along. Let's help Marci and her family have a vacation to remember.

From the love drop team:

Meet Marci: http://LoveDrop.us

She's a super strong wife and mom of three from Colorado, who's not only beat breast cancer ONCE, but TWICE. And unfortunately she's been diagnosed yet again, but this time with Stage IV cancer that's spread into her lungs and lymph nodes :(

The most important thing in her life right now is quality time with her family, so we want to give them an all-expense-paid vacation before she begins her toughest battle yet. All of the money y'all have already sent in (or will be sending in) is going straight for them to spend some time together. So if her story resonates with you, or you happen to have some good airline/hotel/vacation hookups going on, def. be sure to give us a shout :) She's been through some tough times in the past 10 years so far, but she's remaining positive and gonna do her best to kick its ass again!

Mesothelioma Cancer Awareness

Don't know what Mesothelioma cancer is? Check out http://www.mesothelioma.com/blog.

This month is Breast Cancer Awareness month and I must say, I'm more aware of breast cancer than ever. There are all sorts of efforts going on. Even examiner.com is having a drive and asked us to write about breast cancer awareness in our topic area. (Since I'm the dating adviser, I came up with some date ideas!)

However, there are other, lesser-known cancers that don't get nearly the same kind of visibility. As a result of my last post about Race for the Cure, David Haas contacted me and asked me about being a guest blogger on my blog about Mesothelioma Cancer. He said:

I recently have been researching and writing about how beneficial cancer support networks and also staying physically fit is to people going through treatments, in remission, and even family members of cancer patients.

To be honest, I hadn't even heard of Mesothelioma Cancer until I checked out the site David referred me to: http://www.mesothelioma.com/blog This cancer is a result of exposure to asbestos and it's deadly.

David is a guest blogger for the Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance. Their blog and site provides inspiration and information for researchers, bloggers, survivors and advocates that cover all different kinds of cancer and topics.

Though I told him my site is probably not the best avenue for cancer topics, I was happy to write a post to help get the word out.

This is just one more instance of how social media can change our world. I'm glad those who are living with cancer have places they can go for inspiration and support. And we can all do our part, at the very least, by letting others know what's out there. It's very easy if you're a blogger or have a social media network to spread the word. It can be as simple as a ReTweet!

So please help spread the word to visit http://www.mesothelioma.com/blog

By the way, the Komen Race for the Cure was incredible! Huge crowds wearing pink and running in support of such a worthy cause. And I am so proud of my friend, Rebecca Ritter, a survivor who raised over $2500 for the cause!