Monday, December 11, 2017

Happiness is announcing you have a BF on Facebook

Despite my vast dating experience (after all, I was the Boulder Dating Adviser and seasoned writer of all things embarrassing in my love life), I don't think I've ever used the term "BF" on Facebook to introduce a new love interest.  In fact, if I were advising people like me (those of us who have trouble staying in relationships for more than 3 months), I would say "No, no, NOT use the BF label for AT LEAST 3 months, either on Facebook or anywhere else!"

Let's look at the conversation between me, the wise and pragmatic dating coach (who I will call "Sensei") advising against the BF announcement to me, the defiant, independent, and live-for-the-day ("Carpe Dee") who is ignoring that advice.

Sensei: BF (aka "Boy Friend") is a ridiculous term to use for people in your age group. What are we, in junior high, or something?

Carpe Dee: I routinely try to experience the social life I never had as a teenager since I was such a nerd. I'm pretty sure we're 'going steady'. All I ever did in Junior High was go study. It's time I had a BF! (And, no, I'm not at all a nerd any more, am I?)

Sensei: Is "BF" even the official acronym for Boy Friend? BFF is "Best Friend Forever, so maybe you're just announcing your new "Best Friend" (not forever).

Carpe Dee: The top definition for BF is Boy Friend. BTW so excited that I got a BFF last year, too. (I'm sorry I didn't make that announcement on Facebook, too, Lisa Moncrief.  Let's remedy that when we go to BF (Bahamas) next year causing a lot of confusion.) 
Sensei: Announcing a BF before the 3-month mark can come off as... needy... desperate... a little too impatient to claim "YAY!!! I'm part of a couple!!"

Carpe Dee: Needy and desperate? Me? Geez, I wrote a whole book about looking for love. I think my cover was blown when that came out. Honestly, I've been quite content with pretending like I was fine with the single life, but now, "YAY!!! I'm part of a couple!!" Yup, I'm milking this on FaceBook..
Sensei: When your new BF is super-hot, you need to be prepared for all your friends, male and female alike, telling you how handsome he is. Won't it be awkward to have a BF who is more attractive than you are?

Carpe Dee: No, because he is 2 years and 3 months older than me, so... I got that on him. (Yes, Tor Sutton, that's RIGHT! Don't 'He sure looks younger than you' me!)  My pride in having a super-hot, old BF outweighs the inevitable cat calls and come-ons he will be getting from my envious friends.
Sensei: You know that you have a terrible history with dating. You don't date people who are too old or too young or live too far away or don't dance or who are unavailable or who have baggage or ... (need I keep going?)

Carpe Dee: I already gave my new BF the "we live too far apart" line 7 years ago, so technically, this has probably been the most successful long-term relationship I've had since my divorce. And, yes, that may be due to the fact that we didn't actually date. So, the fact that we still will be in a relatively long-distance relationship may be the key to keeping us together.
Sensei: It will be embarrassing if it doesn't work out and people ask you, "How's that BF you bragged about on Facebook?"

Carpe Dee: I will remain mysterious and vague and say something like.. "OMG He's BFG!"

So there you have it. Carpe Dee won out and the "BF" announcement was made.. and has gotten over 100 "likes"!  Watch out.. Next week I might even change my relationship status..

PS. My new BF's BD is tomorrow!! For his privacy (yeah... like that's gonna happen... I guess we know how the breakup will occur..) I won't mention his age, but, he IS 2 years and 3 months older than me... so... old.. But OH-So-Hot!