Resources For Goal-Setters and a Preview

New Years Eve for me is kind of how it must be on Christmas Eve for Santa... I am in a rush to figure out what big things I'm going to do for the following year and I want to make sure I'm all prepared by midnight (especially if I'm going to do one of those "every day" kind of things (as in a picture-every-day-of-the-year.) If I don't figure it out and do whatever-it-is on January 1, I have to wait all the way until the following year! This is the reason, I have given up on the "every day" types of resolutions... Although I like the idea, I'm better at the "every week" or better yet, the "every month" type... Or the "one big project for the year" is good, too. (Then, of course, I break that down into monthly/weekly/daily goals.. Can you tell I have a project management background?)

If you're another one who takes your New Years Resolutions seriously check out 6 Year-Long Projects to Start in 2011 by MakeUseOf.com. (By the way, if you're also an internet-junkie like I am, you might think about subscribing to MakeUseOf.com. I find a lot of cool sites thanks to their newsletter.)

So, MY big project (I know this will shock you) is going to be The 2011 Love Project!

Yes, starting tomorrow, I am going to officially start "The Love Project." I even bought www.LoveProject2011.com today and the blogger-guy I met on OkCupid is going to help me get set up on a new WordPress site on Sunday.

I'm copying Gretchen Rubin's Happiness Project idea. I'll blog and learn about love and write a book about it. I don't feel like I'm entirely stealing Gretchen's idea, because after all, my first book was a study in love as well. It's just that The Laptop Dancer Diaries is a humor story and I had to throw in a bunch of embarrassing stuff (all fiction, of course!) about my love life. This one will be completely non-fiction and will not reveal the mysterious details of my own love life. (I'm sure any 2011 dates will be grateful for this.)

I chatted with Gretchen briefly and got her thumbs up for me to go ahead with my project and I have some fun stuff in mind... Prompts for bloggers (similar to reverb10), a "website of the week" segment, themes, videos. Stay tuned for more information!

In the mean time, if you are busy planning your own 2011 resolutions, here's another site, courtesy of reverb10, that has all kinds of resources and tools for the ambitious goal-setter!

Have fun and Happy New Year!

Out With the Old, In With the New

I have a lot of difficulty “letting go”...whether we're talking about a relationship or an old vase, I just am not good about getting rid of stuff. My ex is the opposite. When we were married, some of our biggest arguments were about throwing away old stuff. He would go through a room and just throw away anything that he thought was old or imperfect. “If it hasn't been used in a year, you don't need it”, was his motto. I, on the other hand, attached sentimental value to every object. The ticket stubs to movies, the silky nighty I wore on our honeymoon that had become worn out and lace-torn, the beautiful vase gotten as a wedding gift, now held together with hot glue.

So, 5 years ago, when my ex left (out with the old, in with the new), perfectly in character, he said he'd rather have cash than the house or any of the “stuff” within. This worked out perfectly for me. Though it's not easy to afford or maintain this big house, I get to hold on to all my glorious “stuff”. I even had trouble getting rid of the piece of driftwood found in Mendocino that we'd put on the bed to symbolize we'd felt disconnected... like we were “drifting” apart. (Although I admit to being tempted to throw that one through the window of his new house with a note that said, “your new wife might want this”.)

Without my ex around any more to throw away all my precious junk, my kitchen-cabinet-cleanup project is long overdue. My idea of making spaghetti sauce is heating up a jar of Prego so this is more kitchen than I deserve, but I still love it. Taking everything out, one cabinet at a time, I discovered all kinds of “treasures”. Cooking gadgets that I have no idea how to use. Holiday molds that release the jello into a unique shape causing guests to think “what the heck is that supposed to be?” I found another kind of mold, too....on an ancient sandwich left in one of the 10 Bolder Boulder lunch bags that I've collected. Ah...what memories. I found all the baby cups that Scotty used to drink chocolate milk from that have since been chewed up by our dog, Chloe. I found 3-kids worth of elementary art projects and I also think "What the heck is that supposed to be?" I even have a bunch cheesy stuff from MY childhood like my “St. Louis” souvenir cup and saucer.

Let's face it... I'm not just sentimental, I'm a packrat. I can't stand to throw away something that is too old or worn out or sentimental to give to charity, but still has some value (supposedly). I think the weirdest thing I found was something that looked like a urine specimen cup. It was still in a plastic container (unused thank goodness!) but I must have thought the container might come in handy some day when I stuck that little treasure in my food storage cabinet. I have to admit, it was one of the few items in there that actually had a lid that I could find. There were quite a few lids with no corresponding containers as well! Almost everything was stained and weathered from years of use. “Tupperware” was “special” according to my mother. (I can't believe she actually asked if she could take some of these sorry containers, saying I could send her the lids if I found them in my cleanup. Now you can see where I got my packrat behaviors from.) My son asked me if I was going to give them to the homeless... Um... No. I don't think homeless people want old and dirty food storage containers to store all their leftover food in their live-in “refrigerators”. What my Mom didn't want, I actually put in the trash. Thanks to Walmart, I was able to replenish my supply for less than 20 bucks. It may not be “Tupperware” but it's clean and has lids.,

I found lots of mugs that were the ex's... Far Side, “I Love My Daddy”, Enginerd... He drank a lot of coffee, so coffee mugs were a standard gift. I boxed them up to send over. Most likely he will throw them all away. I'm proud that I either gave away or threw away a lot of old stuff, too. But I'm keeping a few of the old things. The “I Love My Mommy” mug will never go out of style.

In Love on New Year's Eve

A year ago I made a resolution. I would fall in love in 2008. I vowed that on New Years night, 2008, I would be with someone I loved. Every month, without fail, I went on at least one date and looked for the positive in those dates, finding something to learn, something to love. I also vowed to have at least one “adventure” a month..going out of my comfort zone...doing something daring or out of character. I rappelled down waterfalls in Costa Rica. I went skinny dipping in the Pacific with someone I barely knew. Every month I took risks where I never would have before.

As I look back over my photos for the year, I see a year full of new experiences, not just with dates, but with friends, kids, parents, and strangers. I see mountains and oceans and flowers and snowflakes. I see the love between my daughter and new son-in-law and the ultrasound photo of my beautiful new grandchild. I see my kids and all their accomplishments and my heart swells with pride. I see smiles of so many people ...that love me and that I love...more than my words can ever begin to express.

My heart is full. My “adventure” this month.... to be with someone I love on New Years Eve. At first, I was looking for a date or considering finding a stranger to kiss at midnight. Then I thought it would be more noble to volunteer at a homeless shelter or nursing home. It turns out volunteers are plentiful over the holidays and they didn't need me (I guess it would be more noble to volunteer at some time other than the holiday season). I got invited to a friend's party which I attended and feasted on fondue and champagne. It may have been rude for me to leave before midnight, but I really wanted to have my adventure and keep my resolution to spend New Years this year with someone I loved.

So here I am in my bed at 11:45pm looking over my photos. I'm going to send virtual kisses via text messaging to a bunch of my friends and family. I am planning my goals and adventures for 2009. Did I fall in love in 2008? 100 times over. Am I with someone I love right now? Absolutely!