Just a couple of weeks ago, I was ready to bag the silly “Fall in Love” goal. After breaking things off with Mr. September/October, who lasted a record 2 months, I wasn't in the mood to meet any more men. I still have to finish The Laptop Dancer Diaries but I mentally debated finishing the book with some inspirational “love yourself” psychobabble chapters. (I'd throw in a sexy scene in the jetted bathtub to steam it up a bit. If you're going to love yourself, it's important to pamper yourself in every way.) I've become very tired of this dating game. But then it turned out, I had an opportunity to meet the man I've been openly cyber-stalking, Ian Usher.
If you want to find out more about Ian, check out the many links in google. He's a celebrity who's fame is only going to grow as the book and movie deals come out (I'm not kidding... He got the check from the agent yesterday when he was in Beverly Hills for the movie rights to his story!)
Though it had been a personal goal of mine to meet this like-minded goal freak*, I hadn't seriously thought it would happen, or that he'd end up being my qualified “Mr. November” . He lives on the other side of the world...or, I suppose now he lives all over the world, achieving his 100 goals in 100 weeks. When it turned out we were both in neighboring LA cities over Thanksgiving week, it was obviously a sign that Ian was destined to be my Mr. November.
I like my man-of-the-month to be a potential partner, and to include some bit of romance. “Potential” includes men that are single, attractive, intelligent, fun, and, if possible, available. (And, of course, it would be nice if they were interested in me, but I often don't necessarily let that stop me... It gives me challenge and I kind of like the chase.)
My trouble is with the adjective “available”. I seem to be attracted to men that are unavailable....either because they live out of state, are out of my “price range” (that's my friend Michael's way of saying “out of my league”), are still in love with someone else, or are commitmentphobes. And as I examine my behaviors, I realize that I am a bit of a commitmentphobe myself. I don't know if I seek out these unavailable types because of the challenge or my own fear of commitment...or maybe it's because those that are “too available” are unappealing for some reason. In some cases, thanks to my wily charms, I will manage to “catch” one of these borderline “unavailables” and he will give in to my seductive persuasions. It is soon after that, that I lose interest. This pattern of mine is very frustrating, undoubtedly requiring much therapy.
The last two evenings with Ian were better than I could have ever hoped for. You will have to wait for the book for the full account. The unavailability factor is sky high...but, as we've established, that only makes the chase all the more fun for me. And Ian's been a fun target to chase, whether that's been in cyberspace or chasing him into the freezing ocean (Who would have thought the catholic girl who hated to even shower in front of the other girls would one day be suggesting skinny dipping to a guy she'd just met? When I step out of my comfort zone, I do it right.) Ian is out chasing his dreams, achieving his goals, and finding fulfillment with each new experience, each new relationship. I so admire his attitude, optimism and openness. He is a very rare and unique person and the perfect Mr. November. I could easily see how I could love this man. His stories and thoughts move my heart. Of course, a long-term relationship is completely out of the question, and so I will savor my November experience and move on hoping to find a lasting love a bit closer to home. I suppose that will require me to pursue someone that is actually available, both physically and emotionally.
However, last night I got news of a new person that will be coming into my life. I know without a doubt that I will love this person deeply and unconditionally.
You see, I found out I'm expecting my first Grandbaby!
*goal freak: I use this term with the utmost respect. For those people who think I go overboard once I have a "goal", I tell you I don't hold a candle to Ian Usher. I have never met anyone who takes his goals more seriously!