Thursday, April 22, 2010
Is Freedom an Advantage of Being Single?
A few years ago, I was listing all the great things about being single. One of the things I put on my list was "Freedom."
I left the list up on my computer screen, Scotty saw it and he asked me what I meant by that.
I said, "When you're single you're free to go where ever you want and do whatever you want. You don't have to compromise with anyone." Scotty thought about it for a minute and I could see the wheels spinning in his head. Then he said, "Mom, you don't really have freedom because you have me."
And then I realized he was right! The compromises and sacrifices I make as a single Mom are much more than those I make when I'm in a relationship. I can't move while Scotty's still living with me. I rarely go out. I pretty much plan my life around Scotty.
I thought how grateful I was that Scotty was with me most of the time and how lonely I felt when he was gone. I told him, "I don't have total freedom, but since I'm the Mom, I still get to make all the decisions!" And then I gave him a hug and told him how much I'd miss him when he grew up and left home.
I realized when you love someone, it doesn't feel like a sacrifice to compromise. You just want to be with them. You feel lucky that you have someone to go places with and do things with, even though that means it's not all about you. You don't feel resentful that you have to share... you feel grateful that you have someone to share with.
So that was the little lesson in love Scotty taught me. Freedom to do whatever you want is nice, but when you're in love, you'd give it up in a heartbeat.