I have reached a high-point in my life. I'm serious! I'm even envious of me...great family, friends, health, job. I can't remember another time when I felt so worry-free. But it's goal setting time, and the one thing that is lacking in my life is romance. I just can't seem to fall in love. I've tried all the different avenues for meeting people from single's events to doing nothing (they say the less you look, the more likely you are to find love). Well, so far, whether I'm looking or not, I haven't found it. I have found a lot of fun, flirty, guy-friends, and that is fulfilling to a point, but I want the real deal....those illusive butterflies...that can't-wait-to-kiss-you-want-to-spend-every-minute-with-you madness. Am I destined to never have that again?
Here are some of the various excuses and rationalizations explaining why I never seem to fall in love:
1) I'm unrealistically picky. I even nix guys that are "too good-looking".
2) I've never gotten over my post-divorce rebound guy.
3) I don't have time.
4) I'm a Cybersexual (This is a word I use to explain my love for Laptop Guy).
5) I hate dating "chit-chat" (This time I'll reveal TMI before we even meet.)
6) I don't want to give up my flirty "pretend" boyfriends.
7) Guys my age are often discouragingly unappealing.
8) I do not like to deal with rejection...either giving it or getting it.
9) The guys I'm attracted to are those that are the most unavailable.
10) I hear about friends' boyfriends and realize being single's not so bad.
Some of the excuses are lame. Some are valid. But I need a challenge for 2008 so here it is. I am vowing here and now, with the internet world as my witness (which doesn't mean too much since not that many people read my blog) that I WILL fall in love in 2008. And when I make a goal, I become obsessive about it. I have lists, and little milestones, I read books and play games where I give myself "points" for doing things that move me closer to meeting my goals. A bit weird, but that's me. (Maybe I should add "I'm too weird" to my list of why I don't fall in love.)
So as part of my "Love Goal", yesterday I signed up for Match.Com's "6-month guarantee" program. This means I have to keep my profile public and respond or email at least 5 new guys a month. I'm also going to have a personal goal to meet at least 1 new guy for a "meeting/date" a month.
Now I really don't like online dating for a variety of reasons (I won't bore you with another list), but in order to make this fun, I've decided that each month I will have a little game to figure out who my date is going to be. Then I'll give the date a public evaluation via blog. I figure it will kind of be like "The Bachelor" but in blog-format. (Yes, I am the Bachelorette...please no snickers from my audience.) I'm going to be up-front with my potential dates and let them read my blog. I only want to go out with someone gutsy enough to risk getting a public "date evaluation".
I suspect that such a game will turn off a lot of potential dates. That doesn't bother me because, as we've established, I don't like dating anyway. This will help me find someone that's just crazy enough to humor me with my silly games. Such a man may not exist, but if he does, he'll at least score some points in my love game!