Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Looking for Game Players!

I LOVE games! I make up games for just about anything. It runs in my family. We played lots of games when I was a kid, and I play a lot as an adult. In fact, I'm seriously thinking of creating a "Complicated Relationship Game."

It's kind of funny that one of the most popular things that I find on online dating profiles is something like: "I don't want someone who plays games" or "I don't play games." Now, I know they're talking about being "manipulative" or "dishonest" or some other negative behavior, but it's a shame this gets labeled as "game-playing."

Dating Goddess blogged about this herself, wondering if setting boundaries would be considered "game-playing"to some.

Personally, I think games are wonderful, even in dating! I love playfulness. Flirting, itself, is a game. In fact, the whole process of courtship and dating can be a bit of a game. You play a card and you see how your date responds. They play a card and then you respond. What fun would it be if you just laid all your cards on the table?

David Wygant, a popular male relationship coach also recommended playing on a first date. He writes:

One of my favorite things to do on this date is to play a game. At every window at which you look, have each of you say what you would pick in the window if you could have (or if you had to take) one thing displayed there. Have fun with it. It’s also a great way to find out a lot about the other person’s personality.

So, what kind of games are the ones that get such a bad rap in dating? Maybe simply saying something to get the other person in bed would be considered a "game." Maybe acting very interested and then not following up... Maybe the "game" for many is just the chase... Once they've "caught you," they've won and they're on to someone else.

Yes, those are pretty hurtful behaviors, but part being good at the game of life and love is recognizing who you can trust and who you can't. When you meet someone, take the time to get to know them to figure out what kind of "games" they play. If you play the same games, you may just be in for a match made in heaven.

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