Sunday, April 03, 2011
The moments of life... The moments of love..
I found this video (a production by Will Hoffman) on The JackB blog. He says "This video is going to lead to many blog posts."
I've been struggling with maintaining focus for this blog... First it was just random stuff, then for the past three months it's been about The Love Project. This quarter, it will be about dating since I have the new Boulder Dating Adviser column on examiner.com.
This video isn't about dating so it may appear I'm already losing my focus! But stick with me here.
I'd like to redefine dating. When we think of "dating" we typically think of singles, rejection, stress, online dating and all the awkward, uncomfortable stuff that comes with new dates. But dating shouldn't be like that! Dating should be filled with beautiful moments. Dating should be sharing all those moments that fill you with happiness with someone else. Dating should be about smiles, relaxation, living in those moments... Not wasting them worrying, judging, or trying to figure out whether or not you'll go out again.
I've thought a lot about my relationship with my friend who died from ALS, Craig. I always looked forward to seeing him, even when he couldn't move or talk. He always was happy to see me. He found a way to flirt and play, even when he couldn't talk. He was so "alive" even when he was dying.
Once Craig knew he was dying, he told me he wouldn't "date" anyone. And it's interesting that when he became "safe"... when there were no worries about rejection or "dating," I had more fun with him than ever. It's the stupid "date" word that can often get in the way of us just enjoying the company of one another. We are too worried that if we're not a perfect match, we will either eventually get hurt or hurt someone else. It's too bad we can't just learn to love in the moment... love like we were dying.
I learned from watching Craig never to take life or people for granted. Dating isn't only for singles. It isn't only for romantic couples. Dating is for everyone. Enjoy dating. Enjoy people. Enjoy all the beautiful moments of life and love.