Wednesday, October 13, 2010

6 Things to Keep Your Spirits Up When You're in a Dry Spell

Dating Goddess over 40 wrote a blog post I could relate to: Dry Spells. These are the times we're not in a relationship and we're really not in the mood to date. This can be a rather depressing time... Maybe we just got out of a relationship, or maybe we just are a little tired of the dating game. She asks at the end of the post what we do to keep our spirits up during dry spells? My comment was getting so long, I decided to write a post of my own... Here are some of the things I do when I'm in this mode.

1) Explore a passion - Here's a time to just lose yourself into something you love to do, but never have time for. Check or use the web to find other people that have the same passion.

2) Give yourself a makeover - New clothes, new hairstyle, new makeup. It doesn't feel quite so risky to experiment with stuff like a new hairstyle when you're completely single. If it doesn't come out perfect, who cares? You have time to get used to it or change it again.

3) Focus on friends and family - One thing that's great about being in a relationship is that it's fun to lavish your love focus with little surprise gifts, text messages, or other little things to let him know you're thinking of him. Why not spend that same energy on the other people you love in your life? Surprise your friends and family with some extra attention.

4) Volunteer - There are so many opportunities to help others. Volunteering usually puts things into perspective. You realize that being single is really a trivial problem compared to all the other problems in the world. And if your insecurity is age, volunteer at a nursing home. You will feel very young! (And there are plenty of old people that will think you're the hottest thing ever!)

5) Learn Something New - Dig out that list of stuff that you always wanted to learn and get started! Take a class, read books, find mentors, experts, or other people who want to learn too. Like #1 (Exploring a passion), meetup and the Web are good areas to find people and resources to help you.

6) Get Attention From Single Friends - I have some friends who "fill in" with things like occasional text messages, coffee breaks, or platonic dates. During a time when I'm feeling especially lonely, it's nice to have a "safe" flirt buddy to exchange "sweet dreams" text messages with.

So there you have it. Goodbye depression! If you're focusing on loving others (and, of course, yourself!), you may not be in a relationship, but you will have plenty of love in your life.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the suggestions. I could use a makeover or some new hobbies to make up for the lost sex time.... ughhh... I love online dating sites like yours though!