Alphabet dating

I've been waiting for New Years to begin my Alphabet-theme weeks and even though 2012 is only a few days old, I'm already having fun.

Basically it works like this. There are 52 weeks in the year and 26 letters in the alphabet so that means we have a new letter to celebrate every two weeks. Currently, our letter is 'A' but on January 15th, we'll switch to 'B.' My plan is to go on at least one date or do some kind of activity centered around the bi-weekly letter.

Since I'm the Boulder Dating Adviser, I'll write about the letter-themed dates and maybe even compile them for a book at the end of the year.

I already have

Alphabet dating throughout the year and A-week assignment: Assemble foods that start with the letter A.

There are also plenty of 'A'-words related to dating: Attraction, Arousal, Aphrodisiacs, Adoration, Affirmations, Appreciation, Authenticity, Appearance, Affection, Awkwardness, Anticipation... Certainly, I have an Abundance to choose from if I'm trying to come up with a topic to write about!

I did these letter-theme weeks in 2004 with Scotty and had a lot of fun with it. He was 9 at the time. Every other Saturday, we'd have a day dedicated to the letter of the week and it was like a scavenger hunt the whole day. We went to Arvada Center for the Arts and Arbys for lunch during A weeks and the Butterfly Pavilion, Boondocks, and Burger King when the letter was 'B.' It was a lot harder to find activities when we got to the end of the alphabet, but with a little creativity, we always came up with something fun. We even have a photo album that shows pictures we took during each outing.


Even though I had tons of fun finding kid activities with Scotty, I'm looking forward to applying this same concept to dating. (Maybe I'll even get to do some X-rated activity in X weeks!)Having a "letter" is a great way to make a decision about where to go on a date and to try out new places. And my first experiment with using it as a way to figure out what to make for dinner turned out AWESOME!

It really would be so much more fun if I could find other people who were playing along, though, and get some comments, ideas, or some discussion going.

I'd love it if you'd come subscribe to my examiner column and let me know all your creative dating ideas!

Ten reasons to subscribe to...

..my relationship column on Examiner.com

To learn:

1. How to make dating fun
2. How to reconnect with a spouse or partner
3. How to pick a great venue for a date
4. How to date successfully
5. How to navigate the online dating sites
6. How to play on a date
7. How to get over insecurities and build confidence
8. How to get dates
9. How to build intimacy
10. How to banish dating fears

But even if you don't need to learn these things, subscribe for these reasons:

1. To help teach others
2. If you have a business, product or event, I may be able to help you promote it
3. Spark conversation
4. Make new friends (maybe even a date!!)
5. Ask questions
6. Trade links
7. Help spread the word
8. Help me make a little cash! (If I get a certain number of subscribers, my pay level gets bumped up.)

Everyone (whether single or married, male or female, old or young) would benefit from dating. So, go ahead! Subscribe!!

7 Shockingly Interesting Dating Articles

My obsession with getting traffic for the Boulder examiner dating column has gone depressingly poorly. I have written something each day and always advertised to Twitter and Facebook, but the resulting page views have been completely unpredictable and, in many cases, quite low.

I read a bunch of stuff that tells things you can do to build traffic... comment on others' sites, get involved in networks, write "pillar" content, etc. etc. I'm going to focus on something new each week and see what happens.

This week, I read about the importance of the title (hence my rather embellished claim about the "shockingly interesting" articles I wrote last week.) But, hey... I think they're interesting. The one about checklists vs. intuition generated a lot of discussion on Facebook. Let me know what you think!

Which of these titles draws you in and makes you want to click on the link? Why or why not?

1. 10 reasons Pearl Street is the best place to go on a date in Boulder
2. Holidate idea: Search for the perfect eggs benedict
3. Online dating: Bad experiences with Match.com
4. Checklists or intuition? Deciding if you want to go out again
5. Crepes a la Carte: French dining that won’t break the bank
6. Celebrate free ice cream with a date at Ben and Jerry's!
7. Learn to cook and impress your date with a romantic home-cooked meal

5-second Cuddle Party

This week on the Love Project we're talking about Dating. In fact, we're going to keep talking about dating because I'm now the new Boulder Dating Advice columnist at examiner.com. This is quite a fun new job because it means I have a good excuse to keep up-to-"date" on the Boulder dating scene.

So when I got invited to a Cuddle Party on Sunday, I thought to myself, "I should go check this out and write an article about it." But, as I said once before, I think cuddle parties are weird. I feel like I shouldn't really judge them without personally checking them out, but the thought of cuddling strangers just seems creepy to me.

However, I did ask my new friend, Armin, what he thought about the idea of "cuddle parties." Armin answered appropriately... he was not interested in cuddling with strangers, but he was happy to give me the "experience" if I wanted to write about it for my column.

We had a much less provocative date - celebrated Cherry Blossom Day by going to Sushi Zanmai in Boulder. But we did sneak in a 5-second "cuddle party" as we posed for the self-timed photo. Though I still have no interest in cuddling up with strangers, I have to say the practice session was really very nice!

Celebrate Cherry Blossoms and Joes on March 27

I really love "themes" so creating some kind of theme date is a lot of fun for me. The other day in my new examiner.com column I wrote about using special days to help you design a "theme" date.

Today, March 27th, Japan and Washington DC celebrate the Cherry Blossom Festival. It's also National "Joe" Day.

I was an exchange student and lived in Fukuyama, Japan my senior year of high school. I saw the beauty of the cherry blossom trees in bloom... what a beautiful sight. I have a special place in my heart for the country, and, of course, like so many others, I'm so saddened by their recent tragedy. This seems like a fitting day to take some time to send thoughts, prayers and maybe a donation to help out the victims in Japan.

It also is a great day to write a haiku. There's even a free "Cherry Blossom" eCard you can use complete with cherry blossom tree photo. Just include your haiku in the personalization section and send it to a date, friend or someone you love.

How about this one:

Today is the day
When the cherry blossoms bloom
And you can be Joe

or

Peace and JOEy to you
As the cherry blossom bloom
Let us eat sushi

(set against the music of "Ode to JOEy")
Note: JOEy is pronounced "Joy", yet in honor of National Joe Day, we spell it JOEy

I invite you to share your Cherry Blossom and Joe haikus with me! Or tell me how you are celebrating the occasion! Whatever you're doing, I hope you are being JOE-vial!

Assignment 13: Go on a date!

Assignment 13: Go on a date! It does not have to be a "romantic" date. It can be with a friend of either sex, or your kid (though mine insists that rather than "date" I refer to these one-on-one experiences as "outings" or "excursions.") Absolutely, if you are married or in a relationship, go out with your significant other! If you're single, maybe take the plunge and ask out someone you're attracted to, but if there's no one in particular that you're feeling romantic about, then shower that pent-up attention on someone you love.

OK, Love Project Fans, we are winding down on the first quarter of 2011, and the Love Project is going to veer into a new, but related, direction in Q2, with the focus on dating.

Now, just as I said in the assignment, dating does not have to be about romance. And it doesn't have to be restricted to singles! In fact, I have much more fun dating when I'm in a long-term relationship than when I'm dating someone I don't know too well, so I don't know why we so often associate "dating" with being single.

I have decided that for my 52nd year (which started the week of my 51rst birthday) that I would go on a date a week... or 52 dates. Since I'm not requiring these to be "romantic" dates, this has been easy and lots of fun! Here is my definition of a date:

Spending one-on-one time giving attention to and receiving attention from someone I care about and enjoy being with.

My goal is to have at least one date of this type each week, going to a different place each week. I enjoy coming up with unique date ideas and spending quality time with the people in my life.

Now, of course, I do want some romance, too, so I'm not ruling out traditional romantic dates... I'm hoping to have my share of those throughout the year, too. But dating doesn't have to mean romance. It's more about sharing time and attention with someone.

And, of course, this will tie in very nicely with my new Boulder Dating Advice column on examiner.com. Be sure to check that out and subscribe!

Crowdsourced Matchmaking: Hook Up Chas for $10K

Yesterday my friend Kay let me know that the Boulder Examiner was looking for writers who liked to write about dating and relationships. The application asked for sample writing of a 200-300 word article to be written in the 3rd person.

Meanwhile, my friend Shirley tagged me on Facebook with a link to hookchasup.com, so I figured that would be the perfect story for my application (See below). Now, of course, I plan to write a "first person" application to Chas telling him why I'm the perfect candidate (or perhaps introducing him to his future wife).. but that will come later. In the mean time, if any of you lovely ladies are interested in Chas, let me know, and I promise to give you a good percentage of the $10K when you marry him... at least $100!)

Oh, and PS. I got the Examiner gig! I'm the new Boulder Dating Adviser!

Hook Chas Up and Win $10,000 Bucks

Gone are the days of settling for a local as your life-long partner. Thanks to the Internet you can search the whole World Wide Web for your soul-mate. Don’t want to do all the work yourself? Why not solicit some help from all those lurkers in cyberspace just waiting to meddle? Chas (of hookchasup.com) has come up with the idea of crowdsourcing his matchmaking services, offering ten grand to whoever introduces him to the future Mrs. Chas.

Chas says, “I work a lot and never had much luck with online dating.” When questioning himself on his “About” page about why he’s 40 and still single, he answers himself, “Thanks to a decade of ‘life coaching’ and some insightful relationships, I can honestly say I’m ready to start a family. For realz.[sic]”

Note: I feel I must explain that the [sic] indicates that I know Chas misspelled "realz," though I think this was purposeful to be kind of cool. I was not in any way judging him by thinking it was sick of him to say "realz." However, if I had been thinking it was "sick" and misspelled it "sic," an editor might add yet another [sic] as in "For realz. [sic [sic]]."

His Website sports some GQ-like quality photographs of himself in various poses. One has him reading a Shel Silverstein book in a king-sized, goose-down comfy-covered bed. In another he’s wearing shoes, wet jeans and a green polo shirt strolling through the San Francisco Bay. In a third, he’s sitting in a red chair in his backyard, wearing a 3-piece suit holding a photograph of his revered “Important Monkey.” (Could the 3-piece suite represent "monkey suit"?) There are eight photos in all, each showing Chas in his glorious uniqueness as he goes through his daily routine.

Chas clearly is not an ordinary man. Ordinary men would probably take their shoes off when wading in the ocean. Ordinary men would probably name their monkey a monkey-like name. Ordinary men would probably not advertise their email address and a $10K prize to a world which includes weirdoes, scoundrels, con-artists and spammers.

Ordinary men will find ordinary women. I suspect Chas will find just the extraordinary wife he’s looking for.