Racing for a Cure - Please Help!

Anyone who's known me for any length of time has probably been hit up by me at some point or another to sponsor me for some kind of charitable event. Last year I asked for prayers, rather than money, but I know many of you still contributed to charities, cause... that's just the type of wonderful friends you are.

Well, this year I'm back to asking for money.

One of the people who's been in my prayers is my amazing friend, Rebecca Ritter. She's a breast cancer survivor. In fact, she's done more than survive. She lives life more fully than most of us ever will. So when she asked me to join her and her daughter in the Race for the Cure this year, I said, "Absolutely!"

Now, instead of asking you to contribute to my page, I'd rather help Rebecca reach her goal of $1500. She's about half-way there, but I told her that I would love to help her reach that goal. I assured her that my friends were very used to my frequent pleas for contributions and that they were generous, both with their money and their prayers.

To contribute to the Race for the Cure, go to Rebecca's page and click on the link to the right, under her picture that says: "Donate to Rebecca!"

All the money goes to the Komen Foundation which will continue to help people like Rebecca, who have been diagnosed with breast cancer. Thanks to research, we have come a long way, and I am so grateful that Rebecca is strong and healthy. Let's make sure she and others who have been diagnosed with breast cancer will get the help and support they need to beat this disease.

PS.Think about joining us on October 2nd by pressing the "Join Rebecca's Team!" link on Rebecca's page. It's a 5K (3.1 miles) with lots of walkers, so no need to be a runner to join in the fun!

New Love, New Life

Here's a picture of my new love -- my baby granddaughter born August 29th.

I was hoping she'd be born on August 26th -- the first Anniversary of her great grandfather's death -- but the 29th is close enough.

The year + 3 days between my Dad's death and his great granddaughter's birth has come with many ups and downs. I think much more often about mortality. My amazing friend Craig died in December at age 50. And other friends and family have received the awful news of a cancer diagnosis. I wonder if this is what life will be like now in my later years... Worrying about who will be next?

I have been searching for another love, but lately, I've been morosely thinking that I'd rather be single than be a widow. I don't know if I could bare the grief of losing a spouse to death.

But why am I here talking about death, when just the opposite has occurred. A beautiful, perfect baby has been born. How will Dad find his way in her? Will she have his love of Math? His corny sense of humor? I look at those tiny hands, at that blissful, sleeping doll and think how miraculous life is. I remember that day I became a mother -- the day I looked at my perfect daughter, this baby's mother -- and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, there was a God. There is no way something so wonderful could have just been created "randomly."

When the people we love die, life can feel so meaningless. Is this it? We're just going to live until we die? All this "stuff" we do all day... why do we even do it? Why does it even matter? We are just going to die.

And then there is a birth. I look at the innocent baby and know she will have the love passed down from her great grandfather who loved me who loved her mother who loves her. And I know then that it does matter. Every smile my father gave me. Every day he worked hard to give us a wonderful childhood. Every tickle he tortured me with. It mattered. Love matters.

And now, beautiful little girl, though you will never get to meet him, your great grandfather's love lives within you.

Love Drop: Help Felicity

I've been very remiss on passing along news of what's going on with the Love Drop. What a great group of people that pull together to help someone in need. This month they are helping Felicity, a little girl with a brain tumor. And this family has also had to endure the recent and sudden loss of Felicity's young uncle. I can't imagine what they must be going through.

Here's the information about Felicity and how you can help:

The Love Drop team is at it again! Last month they gave over $5,000 worth of cash and goods to their recipient, the Aubin family, who was struggling financially after the passing of their dad, and this month they're ready to do it again and help out another person :) They've given out over $45,000 in the past 6 months, and show no signs of stopping. If you know of anyone yourself that could use their help, make sure to let them know.

This month they're heading down to Atlanta to help Felicity, a little 4-year-old girl who was just diagnosed with brain cancer. Felicity had immediate surgery and is currently undergoing aggressive radiation treatments for the remaining portion of her tumor. We want to raise $5,000 for her family to help cover mounting medical costs, as well as the future expenses a new baby on its way will bring. With your support and generosity, we can really do something special for them!

Here are three ways you can help:

1. Give $25 towards medical bills <-- Click this link to contribute $25 towards Felicity's radiation treatments. It'll help them out a ton!

2. Give a gift or service- Gift cards are always helpful. Places like Target, Wal-mart, restaurants, etc would definitely help them out. Services too - especially those you can offer yourselves, or from your company.

3. Join our blogger network - Blog about our Love Drops each month like I am :) It's easy, it's rewarding, and it REALLY helps spread the word (which in turn helps our families). Love Drop will give you all the content you need.

Thanks so much guys! Here's to a great month of paying it forward!

Can You Feel Intimacy From Blogging?

I've been quiet on this blog lately, thinking about why I blog -- what's good about blogging and what's not so good.

My life has been going through the usual ups and downs. One "good" about blogging about my life is that it's very therapeutic to write my thoughts down. I often journal privately and just the act of writing down my thoughts and feelings helps me think more clearly. My mood comes through. If I notice that my words are negative and that I'm in pity-party-mode, I play "therapist" with myself. If I'm in a happy mood, I write about why I'm happy -- the awesome things I'm experiencing and about the people I'm spending time with. Reading about these things when I'm in one of those down moods reminds me of how much I have to be grateful for and helps me snap out of the pity party.

Now, private journals are one thing, but blogging and making these feelings public can be... well, both good and bad. Exposing our vulnerabilities and making a connection with someone who understands what we're feeling is wonderful. You feel this intimacy with someone who you've never met.

There are bloggers and writers who have such a talent for enveloping me with their words of wisdom. So while writing and reading my own journals is nice, sharing with a fellow-blogger who is able to so clearly articulate exactly the feelings I'm trying to describe -- well, when that happens, I feel like I've met a kindred spirit out here in cyberspace who really understands me and it warms my heart.

I read a post this morning, Have You Found the Two Great Treasures of Blogging?, in which the author, Stu, talked about the importance of building "community" when we blog. I agree that this "community" and the virtual friendships I've made is probably the biggest benefit I've gotten from blogging.

What about romantic relationships? Can they develop from a virtual friendship? I know that I'm a sucker for the written word. One time I met a guy from online dating and we used to write these wonderful emails back and forth where we shared so much of our lives. He called it "eIntimacy" and I thought it was a very cool word. It's a new form of intimacy that really wasn't available to us before we had the Internet.

However, one of the things that makes "intimacy" intimate is that it's one-on-one and personal. When you are sharing with the world, it takes away from the intimate nature of the conversation. You are no longer sharing your feelings with someone special, you're sharing them with everyone, which actually seems to be the opposite of intimacy.

What do you think? Have you met virtual friends from blogging? Do you feel like blogging can enhance or detract from having an intimate connection with someone? Should our deepest feelings be saved for truly intimate relationships rather than airing them on a public blog?

Remembering Dad

Just remembering my Dad today...

Happy Father's Day!

Looking for my soul mate, "Joe"

I don't put much stock into all this cosmic woo-woo stuff about love. I think there's something to be said for being positive, which is a lot of what "the law of attraction" is all about, but I have to resist from rolling my eyes when people start talking about soulmates and putting things out into the "universe." But let's face it. I've tried just about everything else, so I'm going to do what Arielle Ford suggests in her seminar on how to "manifest my soulmate." She says the first key is to have clarity in who I'm looking for. So here goes:

I want someone who has a genuine, friendly smile coupled with a mischievous, playful twinkle in his eye. We'll be able to look at each other across a room and share a secret look... a look that might say, 'I can't wait until we're alone' or maybe just say, 'I have gas. Aren't you glad you're over there?' His smile, his touch, his voice will make my heart beat faster and fill my stomach with butterflies. I'll love his words, his humor, his intelligence, and his kindness. He will most likely be a father, but even if he's not, he will love kids - being somewhat of a kid himself... loving to play and laugh, happy to join in any goofy game or activity.

My "soulmate" will laugh when I make a corny joke, hold me when I cry, and be happy to snuggle as we watch a movie or just read quietly together. He'll think I'm pretty even when I don't have makeup on and he'll find creative, personal ways to show me he loves me. He'll love it that I celebrate the anniversary of our first kiss, the summer and winter solstice, and every unusual holiday there is.

He will be handsome but humble, strong but vulnerable, confident but not arrogant. We will both be independent, keeping our hobbies and friendships... but we won't feel insecure or jealous when we're apart, because we feel sure of our mutual love for one another.

He will care about health and won't smoke or do drugs. He'll have a healthy mind and won't dwell on anger or past hurts or grief. And he won't be judgmental of others. He'll be grateful for his strengths, passions and skills, and won't act superior to others.

When we talk, we'll each listen and support one another. We'll never run out of things to say, but sometimes we'll be happy just laying quietly together.

We won't share all the same interests or passions, but it won't matter. We will find things we both enjoy -- maybe traveling or cooking (and definitely eating!). He'll be happy to teach me things and learn from me, too. He'll love to learn and when he's excited or has learned something new, he'll want to share it with me as soon as he can. He'll text or call just to tell me something trivial because he'll know that I'll love that he wanted to share it with me.

He will prefer summer to winter and love sunshine and beaches. He'll be excited to explore new places and find something fun to do whereever we go. But it won't really matter where we are... even if we're stuck in an airport with a 3-hour delay... we will have fun because we're together.

So there he is. Now I think I'm supposed to talk to this guy who's out there in the Universe somewhere... I think I'll call him... Joe... (Joe was my first boyfriend's name. And it does have a nice generic feel to it.) If any of you know Joe (oh yeah... he also has to be single and around my age) please let him know I'm looking for him.

OK, Joe. I know you're out there! Come find me before we get much older, please!

7 Shockingly Interesting Dating Articles

My obsession with getting traffic for the Boulder examiner dating column has gone depressingly poorly. I have written something each day and always advertised to Twitter and Facebook, but the resulting page views have been completely unpredictable and, in many cases, quite low.

I read a bunch of stuff that tells things you can do to build traffic... comment on others' sites, get involved in networks, write "pillar" content, etc. etc. I'm going to focus on something new each week and see what happens.

This week, I read about the importance of the title (hence my rather embellished claim about the "shockingly interesting" articles I wrote last week.) But, hey... I think they're interesting. The one about checklists vs. intuition generated a lot of discussion on Facebook. Let me know what you think!

Which of these titles draws you in and makes you want to click on the link? Why or why not?

1. 10 reasons Pearl Street is the best place to go on a date in Boulder
2. Holidate idea: Search for the perfect eggs benedict
3. Online dating: Bad experiences with Match.com
4. Checklists or intuition? Deciding if you want to go out again
5. Crepes a la Carte: French dining that won’t break the bank
6. Celebrate free ice cream with a date at Ben and Jerry's!
7. Learn to cook and impress your date with a romantic home-cooked meal

Boulder dating roundup

I've really been having fun with my new side-"job" of Boulder Dating Advisor for Examiner.com. Admittedly, it's more like a hobby than a job, since it's virtually no money. But it can be kind of addictive to try and build traffic. With that in mind, I think I'll do a Sunday roundup on this blog.

I get about half-a-cent per page view, so if you see something you like, I'd love it if you'd check it out and help me spread the word by pressing the "like" button. It also would be wonderful to get some participation, so leave comments or questions on this blog or on my Facebook page and let's get some discussion going.

If you have a site, business or service related to the Boulder area or dating, let me know and we can exchange links or possibly think about doing some partner content.

Do you have dating question? Is there something you'd like to see more of? Let me know!

Dating for singles

Speed dating: 8 minutes is all you need

Online dating: How to get a woman to reply to a first email

Boulder Digital Arts presents Single Digits: Geeks looking good

Advice and ideas for couples or singles

Contra dance: Speed dating with a spin

Nia classes: Sensual dancing to enhance your dating success

Take the challenge: Weekly dates for married or singles

Men want romance, too – Find out their top date pick

How to creatively plan your next date using special holidays

Ignite Boulder introduces DateDesigner.com

Place to go on a date in Boulder

Cantina Laredo: Best Mexican restaurant for date night

Celebrate Japan at Sushi Zanmai

Events in the Boulder area

Unique date idea: Check out Rarities and Oddities and... pandas?

Music and short films by Boulder-area artists at mmmmmBoulder on April 30

Geocaching in Boulder County: REI offers free GPS class March 29

Technosexuals unite - Single Digits Free Mixer in Boulder

Just for fun

Boulder daters eating their word

Best April Fools date ideas for the most narcissistic city in America

Ménage à trois anyone?

Last night a friend of mine hosted a French-theme party. Now I absolutely love theme parties. To really get in the spirit, I thought it would be fun to go as a Ménage à trois!

Oo la la!

I'm, of course, way too wholesome to carry this ruse to the bedroom, but I have to say, an evening of dressing up sexy and play-acting was certainly fun!

Have you ever done any "role playing" to have an evening of acting out of character? How was it?

Leave me a comment on the best date you had where you went "out of character" and maybe I'll write about it on my Dating Advisor column for examiner.com.

Online dating: How to get a woman to reply to a first email - Boulder Dating Advice | Examiner.com

Online dating: How to get a woman to reply to a first email - Boulder Dating Advice | Examiner.com

I love my new Dating Advice column at the Boulder Examiner. It would really be great to get more comments and participation, though. How about on this blog? Any dating questions? Have a dating dilemma? It's always fun to see advice from others, so help me out with a comment and give your point of view.

What would be your advice on getting someone to respond to a first email when you're online dating?