A Found Card From My Mother

 

In my never-ending attempt to declutter, I often find memorabilia.  Throughout my life, I've saved cards and letters (they don't take up too much room after all).  However, even cards and letters can "add up" and I had boxes of them.

Last week, I started sorting through them, wanting to separate out the "special" ones and I found a card my mother had written to me when I was going through my divorce in 2003.

The inside of the card said:

"You are an exceptional person,

and I know that you will survive

and be stronger and wiser

than you ever were before."

My Mom had also written a little essay of sorts titled "Who is She?"

The essay has little sections that said things like: 

Who is she? A newborn, less than 6 pounds, perfect in every way..

Who is she? A small child, learning to read before school age. She makes cookies in her Easy Bake oven...

Who is she? A teenager playing Chopin on the piano,..

and the essay goes on, listing many of the things I'd done over the years.. mostly little things,  different volunteer activities or accomplishments.

It ends with:

I have loved her since the moment of her birth, and am filled with gratitude that she has been part of my life.

Who is she? She is my daughter, Yvette

I remember getting this card during that very difficult time of my life.  It brought tears to my eyes then and I still get teary-eyed when I read it today.

It meant so much to me that my mother expressed pride in my accomplishments and gave me such support and love.  I was feeling like such a failure - I never thought I'd be divorced -- and I was so ashamed of the "stigma" of being divorced.   

My Mom didn't even mention the divorce or my ex-husband in this card. She didn't express pity or any worry.  Her "essay" was only to tell me she was proud of me.  She wrote, "I hope you feel proud whenever you read it."

Now, all these years later, I realize I am stronger and wiser, thanks to the divorce. Overcoming hardships do help us grow.  But we need people who are there for us. 

When I read this letter, I feel more proud of my mother than I do of myself. I'm proud that she knew just the right thing to say during one of the hardest times of my life.  Her confidence in me gave me strength.  

So, following her lead, I will write my own little reply essay:

Who is she? She's a young mother with four little children. She knows how to do everything from kiss away their tears to encourage them in any endeavor.

Who is she? She's a Brownie Leader, remaining unbiased when Janet Medina got to play Cinderella instead of her daughter who had to play the part of the rat. (But letting her daughter know if it were up to her, she would have chosen her to be Cinderella.)

Who is she? She's a breeder, trainer, groomer, and shows many a champion dalmation in the ring. But mostly she is a devoted lover of all animals. (So much so that I'm sure the pets must have felt that they were equals to her biological children.)

Who is she? She's a nurse, caring for the sick and the elderly, along with her family. She is the Director of Nursing at Garden Court and demonstrates leadership, guiding her staff (unknowingly setting an example for her teenage daughter who helps with filing.)

Who is she? She's a seamstress, making clothes for everyone from Barbies to her children to her grandchildren! We see some of the remnants of the beautiful fabrics in the many quilts she's made.

Who is she? She's the family chef, making recipes from tuna casserole to chocolate mint squares to her famous chocolate cake. Oh and all the chocolate chip cookies! Her recipes are passed down to her children and grandchildren.

Who is she? She's a Master Bridge Player who played competitively into her 80's.  (I can't say much more about that since I never had the patience to learn myself, though she did try to teach me!)

Who is she? She's a supporter, who climbed over fences in her 60's in order to see her daughter cross the finish line at her first marathon.

Who is she? She's a Grandma who babysat her grandchildren on many occasions, reveling in their coos, climbing into their beds to read to them, always ready with toys and games for them to play.

Who is she? She's a life-long learner who figures out how to use her computer and join her family for an Easter Zoom call during the pandemic.

Who is she? She's a mother who loves her children unconditionally, even when they make mistakes.

I have loved her since the moment of my birth, and am filled with gratitude that she has been part of my life.

Who is she? She is my mother, Suzanne