Self-Compassion and Loving-Kindness Meditation

 

Learning how to meditate was one of the goals I accomplished during my 60-until-60 project.  At that time, I learned that there are a lot of different types/styles of meditation. The type I like the best is one that was practiced today at a  Holstee Community Virtual Gathering.

Basically, after "getting into position" you go through this mantra:

May I be Well
May I be Happy
May I be Kind
May I be Loved

Then you repeat the same set of 4 intentions but towards someone else (ie, May [insert name here] be Well, Happy, Kind, Loved) and then, finally, May We All be Well, Happy, Kind, Loved.  This, of course, is all going on in our minds silently while we're closing our eyes.

When I've heard about this kind of meditation in the past, the "someone else" included someone you may be angry with or someone you don't especially get along with.  I found that exercise particularly powerful.

It was kind of an "ah ha" moment for me to recognize that our anger is affecting us, not the other person. 

It was a lot like realizing forgiveness is as much, if not more, healthy for the mental health of the forgiver.  The one being forgiven may not even know that you've forgiven them!

Being angry causes us mental stress. Our mind is occupied, distracted, and unhappily ruminating which in turn affects our physical health. We don't sleep as well, we can't focus as well, and our overall mood and energy is low.

If we can quiet our mind from the anger and instead, wish wellness, happiness, kindness, and love on ourselves and others, including (and most importantly, in my opinion) the people we're angry with, we free our mind from some of that stress.  We recognize that we all our human and make mistakes and, hopefully,  we find forgiveness for ourselves and for others.

As I wrote in yesterday's post, we don't want to push aside our emotions. There may be valid reasons for anger that can't be erased from a simple loving-kindness meditation.  We don't need to engage with the person we're angry with if that's not appropriate. This is for our own peace of mind.

For me, this short mantra and meditation are especially powerful when I'm angry. Usually, I realize that whatever I'm angry about is not really that important in the big picture and that by freeing my mind of the anger, I'm much better able to enjoy the many positive things that I often take for granted. 

Kristen Neff is the guru of Self-Compassion.  You can find some of her Guided Self-Compassion Meditations here.

I'm not a meditation master and really don't practice it very often, but this one practice, in my opinion, is a game-changer in helping me let go of any anger that I may have been holding on to.