A Growth Mindset

 

A few months ago, I was talking to my wise friend, Becky, about talents and skills.  I don't remember exactly how the conversation went, but I think I was saying something like, "I'm really bad at ...... " (there are quite a lot of things that we could end that sentence with... directions, driving, drawing, digressing... Oh no, I'm good at digressing.)

Anyway, we agreed that we could call these types of skills, "Growth Opportunities."  It even has a catchy acronym: GO!   And Growth Opportunities sound much more motivating than Stuff I Suck At. (And I think we'd all agree GO is a more motivating acronym than SISA.)

I've been talking a lot about "Mindsets" in these past few posts and what a difference they can make in our moods.  In particular, I've been talking about "The Agile Mindset" in preparation for my upcoming 4-week workshop.

The Agile Mindset encourages certain other mindsets including having a "Growth Mindset."  Carol Dweck coined the term Growth Mindset which means we feel confident that we can learn new skills -- even those that it seemed we had no "natural" talent. A Fixed Mindset was one in which we feel our DNA determines the skills and talents that we're able to develop.

Personally, I think DNA does play some role in what we think of as our "natural" talents.  But I also think that we can improve in any skill.

The problem is, the way we perceive if we're "good" or "bad" at skills is by comparing ourselves to other people.  If we happen to be comparing ourselves to people who are much better than us, we'll think we have no talent. We may become embarrassed or self-conscious and just label ourselves as lacking in that ability.

When we're young and in school, we get "labeled" in certain ways...  smart, athletic, dumb, lazy, pretty, nerdy, and the list goes on.  We think we're good in Math and bad in PE. (Yes, getting picked last for sports teams hurts, Ms. Fuller!) We believe those labels and they can stay with us our entire lives, keeping us from living up to our full potential.

The thing to realize is that we can always get better at the skills we want to get better at! In fact, the worse you are at a skill, the more GO there is! (Reminder in case you weren't paying attention before: GO is Growth Opportunity.)

Remember that sad little girl who was bad at PE? She went on in her 40's to run 3 marathons! (OK, I'll stop talking in the 3rd person since I'm sure you figured out that insecure little girl was me.)

My marathon finish times ranged from 4hr 29min to 4hr 55min. Even though that's "slow" compared to world-class athletes, it wasn't bad for a middle-age woman. Finishing a marathon at all was something I never thought I'd be able to do.  

I kept learning different techniques for running and even won a local race in my division.  There were only 10 people in the division, but still, it felt so exciting to win a race! I wanted to go back to that PE class and say, "You were wrong about me! I AM athletic!"

But the truth is, the person who really needed to believe that I was athletic was me. I needed to stop being so insecure about my athletic abilities.

Once I started running and having more confidence, I became more fit and willing to try other athletic activities.  I learned to improve my areas of natural weakness and now, at 61, I feel so much healthier than that shy, insecure little girl. 

All those years when I was young, I stayed away from playing sports because I was too insecure and embarrassed at my lack of athletic ability.

Even though I'm not naturally athletic, I know I can get better at anything I put my mind to.

Whether it's athletics, a new academic subject, a new hobby, a new language, an instrument. ANYTHING!  With the proper support and training, we can learn and improve ourselves with any skill we're interested in. I firmly believe that!  Don't let your insecurities hold you back from trying!

Luckily, I'm at an age where I have complete freedom in choosing what skills I want to improve.  I don't have to worry about being better or worse than anyone else. I only focus on improving my own skills.

Oh, one of the "growth opportunities" that I'm currently working on?  Gardening!!  A true Grow GO!