Three's Company Beats Traditional Marriage

I've written a lot on this blog about being single...   Well, guess what? This year, I'm living with not one, but two cute, incredible guys.  Kind of like "Three's Company," but with two guys and a girl, or "New Girl," but with one less guy. Any way you look at it, it's awesome for me.

When Scotty went off to Purdue, I couldn't afford to live in this big house without child support, so I put an ad in roommates.com, and the first person who came to look at the place was a firefighter named John.

That was over two years ago. John is amazing. He takes care of my yard, shovels my driveway, and takes better care of Chloe than Scotty or I ever have.  He takes out the trash, cleans my house, and even stands up to my pain-in-the-neck neighbor who complains about everything. Because his whole job is about handling emergencies, I always feel so much more secure when he's around.

Then last summer, another friend, Chip, needed a place to stay temporarily, and I had plenty of room, so I got a second male roommate.  Like John, Chip has been an incredible addition to our little household.  He's helpful and friendly and an awesome cook, filling my kitchen with delicious aromas. Last night, for Christmas Eve, he cooked one of the most delicious dinners I've ever had as a gift for me. One day last summer, I came home from work to see he'd planted lavender, one of my favorite flowers, in my garden.

This past week I was traveling to California -- with two housemates, I also have more freedom to travel because I know Chloe and my house will be well cared for while I'm away.  When I got home, I was surprised to see Christmas lights on my house.  There was also a big box in the living room that said, "Don't open until Christmas" from Chip.  My traditional advent calendar "tree" which I had been meticulously adding an ornament to each day, had been tended to as well. And the biggest surprise was the big fir tree in my back yard was covered with lights! I am just ga-ga about that kind of thing! It was as though Santa had already visited my house (though I suspect it was John!)

These surprises were more magical than any surprises I ever remember getting from my husband.  Maybe it's because when we're in a relationship we have expectations that we will get gifts or surprises and then we're disappointed when we don't.  Instead, I have no expectations from these men, yet they continually surprise me with their thoughtfulness. It is so utterly endearing for me to experience such sweetness.

I try not to get too dependent or spoiled by this pampered life. As much as I wish I could marry John and Chip, I realize that our society does not allow such things. Yeah, maybe they'll want their privacy or own houses or decide to move in with girlfriends or get married like "traditional" people do. After this blog post, undoubtedly women will be showing up at my doorstep wanting to get in on this action...  Not so fast, ladies.  For now, these guys are living with me, and I'm not letting them go without a fight..

I'll Pay You To Read My Book

It's been awhile since I thought much about my book, The Laptop Dancer Diaries.  Though I still get the occasional sale, I don't spend time marketing it.  I admit, though, it's exciting for me to get a sale... not for the money, but just because it's cool to think a stranger wants to read my book enough to pay for it.  It's even more exciting when I get a review from a stranger.  I make a profit of about $3 with each Amazon sale, and about $1 with the Kindle sales, so...  I'm definitely not going to be quitting my day job any time soon, but I'm quite happy that I fulfilled my goal of becoming a published author.

Though I hardly sell any books these days (maybe one a month), I find it odd that currently there are 13 "used copies" and 16 "new copies" of my book on Amazon that sell for cheaper than it cost me to publish.  It seems like there are a lot more copies of my book floating around than I know about. First of all, since a vast majority of the books I've sold have been signed copies given to friends and relatives, I'm sometimes tempted to buy one of those used books just to see if I can tell where these used books are coming from! However, though I know my book is not (yet) a collector's item, I can't imagine anyone I know going to the trouble of reselling it!

I have no idea how 16 new copies of my book can be available for cheaper than it cost me to go through Amazon to publish, but it's not worth it for me to go to the book police about this.  There are also questionable sites out there who even offer to download the .pdf version for free.  I have to admit feeling a bit of pride when I saw a forum where someone was asking if they knew how they could find a free version of my book.  My first thought was: Someone wants to read my book! Oh loyal reader, let me send you all the free books you want!

Then, today, I read an article about an idea to pay people to read your book.  The article describes an idea that an eReader could have software that would determine if the purchaser actually read the book, and if so, refund them the cost of the book plus an additional amount.  The idea was based on the theory that a lot of people buy books, but don't read them, so the author would only be losing money on the smaller percentage of people who actually read the book and making money on all the people who bought it and didn't read it.

I thought the idea was interesting, but didn't like the idea of the eReader software because I think that just sets people up for gaming the system.

I'd like to try a variation of that idea, though, and pay people who purchase my book via Amazon from me (not a reseller), if they send me an email and tell me what they thought of the book.  I'll pay back the cost of the book + $1.  If they give me a review on Amazon, I'll pay back the cost of the book + $5.

Even though I'll lose money on everyone that responds or gives me a review, I'll be getting feedback and maybe gaining a readership or even some new friends.

What do you think? Wanna get paid to read my book?

Those with ALS can still LOVE... please share with pride

Short Message: Please Watch and Share!  Can I get to 100 shares? [Subliminal Message: I'm not asking for money]

Long Message:

The Ice Bucket Challenge videos have been criticized by the media about missing the point, sometimes not even mentioning ALS.  This one is real.  

I want the world to know that people with ALS need our love and help.
Even when they can't say the words, 'I Love You,' they do love and they need to hear those words from you!

"Don't be embarrassed or shy to ask. Be proud! This is for a great cause!"

That was part of the pep-talk I gave at a kick-off meeting for the Walk to Defeat ALS.  I reminded people that those suffering from ALS have to depend on help for every task they do. Certainly the least we can do is send an email or share a link.

I've already raised $8700 for ALS, which is the most money I've ever raised and I feel proud and indescribably grateful for the generosity and support from my friends and family... More than I can properly say.  Every dollar, every word of encouragement, every "like," is a hug that warms my heart and often brings tears to my eyes. I've had so much emotion during this journey.  If I could scoop up the collective souls of all who have supported me in an embrace, I would be weeping uncontrollably... partly out of grief and sadness for those who are affected by ALS -- but mostly out of gratitude, joy, and hope at the mass attention and help that the ALS community is finally getting.

I had a goal to raise $12K by September 13 and I don't want to give up. I always take my goals seriously (ok, I'm a nut job), but this time... I just can't explain why it's so important, but those who have loved someone with ALS will understand.

Is it easy to ask for help? No! We don't want to put our friends and family on the spot or make them feel guilty. We're afraid they won't "like" our message (pressing the 'thumbs down' in their minds) or might even "unfriend" us! But are we really so insecure about our friendships that we're afraid to spread the word about a good cause? Would you really even want a friend who would fault you for being compassionate?

I finally figured out why the Ice Bucket Challenges were so popular, even though initially it made no sense to me why people would want to share a video about NOT donating.  They were more popular because they didn't make people feel like they were asking for money! It's probably why so many of them did NOT ask for money or even include a link.  This has been criticized by the media... calling the videos silly and narcissistic.  But maybe the not asking for money part was the key to why it went so viral? It allowed people to share without feeling self-conscious and the videos sparked enough interest for people to find out more and recognize how truly awful this disease is and to give.

So one last ask from me... Please just share this blog post. [Subliminal Message: I'm not asking for money, I am not asking for money, I am not asking for money.]  If I don't raise the $12K the world won't come to an end.  In fact, I really just committed to "being the top fund-raiser for the Denver Walk" and so far, I am! So technically, (unless no one surpasses me in the next 5 days) I'll have met my "goal."

But, I want this last chance to let the world to know about Craig and others with ALS.  I want everyone to remember how precious life is, to never give up, and mostly...  Love like you were dying....

Other links:
My new GoGoCarpeD Website: The complete collection of my Super Carpe Diem videos. http://www.gogoCarpeD.com

The Story of Craig: A series of posts I wrote about my experiences with Craig after he was diagnosed with ALS.

ALS Association Rebuttal to the recent fraudulent attacks to their reputation that went viral.

My Team Carpe Diem Page - There will be 30 of us Walking to Defeat ALS on September 13th in Denver's City Park. Come join! Go Team Carpe Diem!

No words to describe...

I like to write. I love words. And yet, there are times when words feel so inadequate.

There are times when the only way you can describe how you feel is by describing an experience and if the person you're talking to hasn't had that experience, they can't completely understand.

For example, it's hard to explain the way your stomach flips when you're on the tilt-a-whirl unless you've ridden on a tilt-a-whirl.  Describing the pain and pure joy of giving birth is possible with words, but really only understood completely by those who have given birth (and even then there are a variety of birthing "war stories" that only certain mothers will identify with.)  Pride at watching your child perform, giddy infatuation of a secret love, fear while waiting for the results of a biopsy...  these are all feelings that those of us who like to write try to capture in words, but the words are imperfect, no matter how many times we consult the thesaurus.  We know that the only people who will truly "get it" are those who have had a similar experience.
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Another feeling that very few people really understand is what it's like to love someone who is dying from ALS.  Most people haven't had that experience.  And though I won't try and describe that feeling in this blog post, I'll tell you that my emotions are hyper-sensitive when it comes to anything ALS-related.  So whenever I get any donation or any support for my current fund-raising effort, I feel more than grateful. I feel moved. I feel the same type of comfort you get when someone consoles you after a death. Again...another feeling that's hard to describe unless you've experienced grief.  

Today I saw my donation thermometer on my Walk to Defeat ALS page go up by $1100 with a single donation. That's right. I received a donation for $1100 from someone I barely know. And it's not the first time. A few months ago, I was surprised by a $1000 donation from this same "angel." That's $2100 for ALS from a virtual stranger.

What do you say when something like that happens? Most people would think... Um.. How about, 'Thank you!'? Or, maybe they would tell me: 'That's gratitude you're feeling.' But it's more than gratitude. It's wonderment. It's awe that someone could be that generous.


I think the best way to describe how I felt today is the scene in "When the Grinch Stole Christmas" when the Grinch's heart grows 3 sizes bigger and breaks out of its mold. It's that same kind of admiration I felt when I was around Craig -- a man crippled and unable to speak -- yet still with a twinkle in his eye, a mischievous grin on his face, and ready to play.

That huge admiration I had for Craig is one of the reasons it was so hard for me to watch him die. The world was losing this unique and wonderful man and there was nothing I could do about it. And then today, a unique and wonderful man did something incredible... and I got that same indescribable feeling of admiration.

That feeling -- that feeling that makes tears come to my eyes -- that feeling of gratitude that the world has such good people -- that feeling of hope that a cure for ALS is not far off -- that is the feeling that I can't describe. That is the feeling that there are no words for... that feeling requires a response that means so much more than 'Thank you.' Why doesn't the English language have some kind of 'Extreme Thank You' word?

So I offer up this blog post, not just to that generous donor, but to every person who has supported me on this journey.  I still have 9 days left and have a few Ice Bucket Challenges left in me, as well as a grand finale video, so I'm hoping to reach my $12,000 goal. But whether or not I make my goal, I am grateful for every dollar, ever "share," every word of encouragement, and every silly video that has been made in support of finding a cure for ALS.  I am more grateful than I can possibly describe.

Will Scott McNealy Take the Ice Bucket Challenge?

Today marks the 6th Ice Bucket Challenge I've taken for ALS Awareness.   "Super Carpe Diem Woman" is dressed in a bathrobe, representing the time her "secret identity" was sick at home, and received a phone call from Former CEO and co-founder of Sun Microsystems, Scott McNealy.

When Scott did call me in 2004, I was sure it was a prank. It was hard to believe that the CEO of a major corporation would take time out of his busy schedule just to call someone on medical leave to "cheer her up." But Troy Wright, who was on my team, had emailed Scott and given him my phone number and suggested he give me a call! What a surprise!

That's not the only time Scott McNealy impressed me with his generous heart. When I asked for a congratulatory letter for my son's Eagle Scout ceremony, Scott personally delivered it to the Broomfield office so I would have it in time for the event.

Scott McNealy was always a leader I greatly admired.  "Kick butt and have fun" was one of his mottos and I loved the playful spirit that he instilled in the organization.

I remember being inspired once by a speech he gave about leadership. I don't remember the entire story but the moral of the story was something like this: It's easy to be positive when things are good, but truly inspirational leaders stay positive when things are not so good, and find a way to make things better.

I've thought of that lesson often over the years, and especially in witnessing Craig's positive attitude in the face of ALS. It was incredible to me how he could continue to find joy and humor in the face of such a devastating disease.

ALS Awareness: Why the ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE is my dream come true

My name's Yvette Francino and I'm a goal addict. I set a challenging goal for myself and then I get so obsessed with it that I drive my friends and family crazy, trying to come up with ways to meet that goal. Often, if I have a dependency on someone else, it turns out that I bug them so much, they help me just to shut me up.

This year my "obsession" has been with raising awareness and funds for ALS. When 2014 rolled around and I was setting my goals, I decided I wanted to "make a difference" in honor and in memory of my friend, Craig Dunham. Watching him live and die with ALS, changed my life.  It's impossible to describe the tragedy of living with this disease, though Bo Stern, in her post What an ALS family really thinks about the Ice Bucket Challenge came close with this compelling piece and her empathetic exercises.

Seeing Craig progressively lose his abilities to move, talk, or swallow, while still displaying an internal strength, courage, and independence, changed my life. I still get teary-eyed whenever I think about him... not out of pity, but out of sheer awe and admiration of the incredible strength that I witnessed in the face of a disease that robs you of all physical strength. Yes, he literally had Super Power Strength to be able to find so much joy in life despite this debilitating disease.

So, in January of this year when I saw there was an opportunity to be on the Walk Committee for the Rocky Mountain ALS Association, I told the director: "My goal this year will be to join the committee and to be the top fund-raiser for that Walk." Since the top fund-raiser last year raised $12,000, that has been my goal. Thanks to many emails and very generous friends, I had raised over $6000 before the Ice Bucket Challenge even started!

Enter... THE ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE!  OMG! This was like a huge wish coming true! I had been obsessing about how I could raise awareness and funds for ALS and here comes an unbelievable viral movement that is doing that very thing! We're talking over $50 MILLION DOLLARS!!! My heart is overwhelmed with gratitude for all those celebrities and CEOs and superheroes and mere mortal people who are giving to ALS and spreading the word. How I wish Craig were here to see this. To tell you the truth, the "woo-woo" part of me feels like somehow he took part in orchestrating this whole thing, and that it WILL lead to a cure.

OK, so the real objective is being accomplished...  The funds and awareness are happening with or without my constant pressure, emails, posts to Facebook and YouTube videos.  Whether I raise $12K or not, whether I am the "top fundraiser" or not... these things don't really matter, right? That's all about MY ego... MY wanting to get recognized..  So why should I risk bugging my already-bugged friends with more messages and more videos asking to donate to MY page?

Well, for one thing, as we've already established, when I have a goal, I'm all in. I don't give up until I've met that goal. I still have over $5K left before reaching my $12K goal and just because $12K is a mere drop in that $50 million bucket, it's still a worthy drop.

Secondly, beyond making the money for ALS, what I want more than anything is for people to understand what it was like to experience what I experienced when helping Craig. We all hear how we need to "live life fully," but those words have so much more meaning to me now. We have no idea how much we all take for granted.  We have no idea how petty we sound when we complain or get annoyed by trivial things.

When I hear people complain about tiring of seeing the videos or being annoyed about getting asked to donate, I get it...  I complain about spam or about an overabundance of the same story on the news. So I feel shy or embarrassed about my constant requests for funds or my asks to share my posts or videos. I know that most people do not want to read or listen any more and I feel self-conscious that I'm getting on their nerves. Though I've gotten a few more donations since the Ice Bucket Craze, I feel I've kind of tapped out my friends and family, and don't feel very confident about raising another $5K.

And then I think about Craig and those who are currently living with ALS and realize, "How selfish am I?" Am I really so weak that I can let a little thing like being worried that I might bug someone stop me from fund-raising for a cause that I feel so passionate about?

I remember once when I was outraged because there was no wheel-chair access to Craig's church and I asked Craig if he was OK with me making a stink about it, and he typed out (with his one finger that still worked) "Yes! Thank you for being my voice!" So raising this money, spreading this message -- for me, it is part of how I can make some semblance of meaning to Craig's death. If I can do one good thing... if I can help spread the amazing spirit he demonstrated to one person..  if I can raise the money I committed to... then I'm keeping a part of him alive. Anything less, and I'd feel like I was giving up. One more of the very important lessons I learned from Craig was to never give up!

So I'm not giving up on my goals. I'll keep asking and sending blog posts and videos and ask you to share and some day a cure will be found to this awful disease.

Rest in Peace, Dear Friend
I'll do my best to live the way you did -- seizing the day

Urban Adventure Quest provides perfect entertainment for the playful traveler

Anyone who knows me, knows these things about me:

- I love to play games
- I love to travel
- I love a good deal
- I love technology

What's more, I passed these traits on to my son, Scotty. He's my favorite travel buddy because he's always up for whatever game I come up with. However, these days it's a little tougher for me to come up with games that will keep him entertained. Scotty, a 19-year-old engineering student, recently competed in the College Puzzle Challenge at Purdue and his suggestion of entertainment during our upcoming cruise was that we could work on puzzles from past years.  After trying one such puzzle, I quickly nixed that idea.

However, I did want to figure out something that we would both enjoy when we stopped in Catalina Island and I wasn't crazy about any of the overpriced excursions the ship offered.  (These definitely did not fall into the "good deal" category.)

When I googled "Things to do in Catalina," little did I expect I'd stumble upon the perfect activity for us: An Urban Adventure Quest Walking Tour of Catalina Island! The self-guided tour, part scavenger hunt, part game, was very reasonably priced and provided just the activity that was ideal for the two of us. The quest would guide us through the island with challenges and puzzles that were Goldilocks-perfect.. not too easy and not too hard. (OK, compared to Scotty's college-puzzles, they were super-easy, but not so easy that we got a perfect score. They could be a little tricky but were just right for our small mother-son team.  After all, who wants to think TOO hard while on vacation?)

The walking tour provided history and information about classic sites of the island as well as some hidden gems off the beaten path. Camera in hand, I snapped plenty of photos of the picturesque island and will savor the memories of the fun afternoon.

I highly recommend this fun way to see a new place. Urban Adventure Quest offers adventures for many major cities across the nation.  Their Facebook page is: www.Facebook.com/urbanadventurequest

Never be a victim

Thank You to Those Who Donate

I have done quite a bit of fund-raising in the past 15 years.  I've done a lot of running events  for Leukemia & Lymphoma and Cancer. I always felt awkward about asking my friends and family for money, but I knew that the causes were good, so I sent the emails and letters.  And, over the years, I've tried to help others who were fund-raising with donations and by helping to spread the word of their causes.

The downside of this is that by now my friends and family have seen so many emails from me asking to donate to causes that many of them are undoubtedly wishing to be off my email list!  And, though, I may have even promised them in the past that I wouldn't do any more fund-raising, here I am again, asking for money.

This time is different, though.  This is the first time I'm fund-raising for ALS, and it's very personal for me. The experience I had with helping my friend, Craig, who had ALS, was life-changing for me.

Even though I'd been worried that asking for money, yet again, would annoy my friends and family, I was once again, moved by the generosity from those who donated.  Many friends donate again and again. I almost felt like keeping those who have donated in the past off of my distribution list because I don't want them to feel like I'm taking advantage of their generosity. But instead of complaining, they give me encouragement and more donations! 

After only 2 weeks, I've already raised over $3000 of my $12000 goal! 

There are those who I barely know who have contributed... There are a couple of people (who I won't name to protect their privacy) who have given amazingly generous donations. These people truly are selfless. They ask for nothing in return, but just give because of the cause.  Maybe they knew Craig or have known someone who suffered from ALS and, like me, want to do something to help find a cure for this awful disease.

And then there are people who donate for me.  My family and good friends fall into this category.  I'm especially proud of my children, who don't have much money, yet still donated generously. They know how I loved Craig and they want to show their support. I feel so moved and grateful for those who realize that raising this money helps me keep Craig's spirit alive...  

Whenever I've done fund-raising, but this time especially, I'm overwhelmed with gratitude for the goodness of those who donate.  A thank you  doesn't seem to nearly say enough. I wish I could bestow all the goodness and generosity back ten-fold to those who give, but I guess I will have to leave that job up to God.

So... for all those wonderful people who have donated to this very worthy cause...  Thank you. You make such a difference in this world. I will always be grateful for your generosity.

Live Life to its Fullest

“I intend to leave this life with nothing but love, acceptance, forgiveness and compassion in my heart. I am so ready to live life to its fullest. I only wish I would have thought to do it sooner.” ~Craig Dunham 1960-2010

These were the words from my good friend, Craig Dunhum, in his email when delivering the news that he'd been diagnosed with ALS (more commonly known as Lou Gehrig's Disease).  This video was made a few weeks before he died. I helped him communicate his love to his friends and family. He wasn't able to talk on the phone and I was happy I came up with a solution. Can you imagine not being able to move or talk? 

My goal is to honor Craig's memory by becoming the top fundraiser for the Walk to Defeat ALS. Last year the top fund-raiser raised over $12,000, so that will be a challenge, but I like a good challenge!

Craig always lived life to the fullest, even when he could no longer move or speak. It's only fitting that his initials match that of the saying, Carpe Diem. I know if he were still alive he would be jumping wheelies in his wheelchair, probably creating some new Olympic sport to help me raise money. I wish I could think of some cool, nifty trick that I could do myself that would help me make this message go viral, but all I can think of right now is just to ask for your help.  One thing I might do is send an eBook to everyone with inspirational stories about Craig and how he lived life fully, in spite of this disease.  Do you have an inspirational story? Let me know!

Please help me keep Craig's spirit alive by:

1) Spreading the word! Please pass this link on and spread to your social networks!

2) Join team Carpe Diem and if you live in the Denver area, come walk with me on Sept. 13.

3) Donate! (Anything helps.)

4) Let me know stories of people in your life who you've been inspired by (by comment or email)

5) Make every minute count...  Carpe Diem!

January, 2014 Highlights

It's been an excellent month! One of my resolutions is to post a monthly slideshow of some of my favorite photos and memories from the month, so here's January's!

Digital slideshow personalized with Smilebox

Ski to Defeat ALS, February 23

It's a new year which means a new volunteer project for me! This year I'm serving on a committee supporting a cause that's near and dear to my heart: ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease). My good friend, Craig Dunham, died from ALS in 2010 and I wrote several blog posts about how inspiring he was to me. He lived life to the fullest, even when he couldn't move or speak.

So, my first task in this new volunteer role is to help spread the word about an awesome event that's coming up at Eldora on Sunday, February 23.  This is a great way to support a good cause and have fun at the same time!

Ski to Defeat ALS, at Eldora Mountain, includes a lift ticket, breakfast, lunch, and the chance to win some great prizes! Some of the highlights:

• Early Bird Registration: Register before February 1st Register before February 1st and receive $15 off the $50 registration fee!
• Season Pass Holders’ Discount: Do you already have a season pass that covers Eldora Mountain? If so, enter Discount Code: SEASON and received $25 off the $50 registration fee!
• Costume Contest: The most creative Individual Costume and the most creative Team Costume will be honored at the End of Day Celebration!
• Fundraising Contest: The Individual and the Team that raises the most money by the day of the event will receive an award and prize at the End of Day Celebration!
• Ski to Defeat ALS Sweatshirt: Each participant that raises $200 will receive an official Ski to Defeat ALS hoodie sweatshirt

Please help me spread the word about Ski to Defeat ALS. Let’s get the word out about this awesome event, by sharing on all your social networks and telling your friends!

For More Information ~ Call (303) 832-2322 Email events@alsaco.org

Register Online ~ http://web.alsa.org/SkitoDefeatALS