Can You Feel Intimacy From Blogging?

I've been quiet on this blog lately, thinking about why I blog -- what's good about blogging and what's not so good.

My life has been going through the usual ups and downs. One "good" about blogging about my life is that it's very therapeutic to write my thoughts down. I often journal privately and just the act of writing down my thoughts and feelings helps me think more clearly. My mood comes through. If I notice that my words are negative and that I'm in pity-party-mode, I play "therapist" with myself. If I'm in a happy mood, I write about why I'm happy -- the awesome things I'm experiencing and about the people I'm spending time with. Reading about these things when I'm in one of those down moods reminds me of how much I have to be grateful for and helps me snap out of the pity party.

Now, private journals are one thing, but blogging and making these feelings public can be... well, both good and bad. Exposing our vulnerabilities and making a connection with someone who understands what we're feeling is wonderful. You feel this intimacy with someone who you've never met.

There are bloggers and writers who have such a talent for enveloping me with their words of wisdom. So while writing and reading my own journals is nice, sharing with a fellow-blogger who is able to so clearly articulate exactly the feelings I'm trying to describe -- well, when that happens, I feel like I've met a kindred spirit out here in cyberspace who really understands me and it warms my heart.

I read a post this morning, Have You Found the Two Great Treasures of Blogging?, in which the author, Stu, talked about the importance of building "community" when we blog. I agree that this "community" and the virtual friendships I've made is probably the biggest benefit I've gotten from blogging.

What about romantic relationships? Can they develop from a virtual friendship? I know that I'm a sucker for the written word. One time I met a guy from online dating and we used to write these wonderful emails back and forth where we shared so much of our lives. He called it "eIntimacy" and I thought it was a very cool word. It's a new form of intimacy that really wasn't available to us before we had the Internet.

However, one of the things that makes "intimacy" intimate is that it's one-on-one and personal. When you are sharing with the world, it takes away from the intimate nature of the conversation. You are no longer sharing your feelings with someone special, you're sharing them with everyone, which actually seems to be the opposite of intimacy.

What do you think? Have you met virtual friends from blogging? Do you feel like blogging can enhance or detract from having an intimate connection with someone? Should our deepest feelings be saved for truly intimate relationships rather than airing them on a public blog?

Remembering Dad

Just remembering my Dad today...

Happy Father's Day!

Looking for my soul mate, "Joe"

I don't put much stock into all this cosmic woo-woo stuff about love. I think there's something to be said for being positive, which is a lot of what "the law of attraction" is all about, but I have to resist from rolling my eyes when people start talking about soulmates and putting things out into the "universe." But let's face it. I've tried just about everything else, so I'm going to do what Arielle Ford suggests in her seminar on how to "manifest my soulmate." She says the first key is to have clarity in who I'm looking for. So here goes:

I want someone who has a genuine, friendly smile coupled with a mischievous, playful twinkle in his eye. We'll be able to look at each other across a room and share a secret look... a look that might say, 'I can't wait until we're alone' or maybe just say, 'I have gas. Aren't you glad you're over there?' His smile, his touch, his voice will make my heart beat faster and fill my stomach with butterflies. I'll love his words, his humor, his intelligence, and his kindness. He will most likely be a father, but even if he's not, he will love kids - being somewhat of a kid himself... loving to play and laugh, happy to join in any goofy game or activity.

My "soulmate" will laugh when I make a corny joke, hold me when I cry, and be happy to snuggle as we watch a movie or just read quietly together. He'll think I'm pretty even when I don't have makeup on and he'll find creative, personal ways to show me he loves me. He'll love it that I celebrate the anniversary of our first kiss, the summer and winter solstice, and every unusual holiday there is.

He will be handsome but humble, strong but vulnerable, confident but not arrogant. We will both be independent, keeping our hobbies and friendships... but we won't feel insecure or jealous when we're apart, because we feel sure of our mutual love for one another.

He will care about health and won't smoke or do drugs. He'll have a healthy mind and won't dwell on anger or past hurts or grief. And he won't be judgmental of others. He'll be grateful for his strengths, passions and skills, and won't act superior to others.

When we talk, we'll each listen and support one another. We'll never run out of things to say, but sometimes we'll be happy just laying quietly together.

We won't share all the same interests or passions, but it won't matter. We will find things we both enjoy -- maybe traveling or cooking (and definitely eating!). He'll be happy to teach me things and learn from me, too. He'll love to learn and when he's excited or has learned something new, he'll want to share it with me as soon as he can. He'll text or call just to tell me something trivial because he'll know that I'll love that he wanted to share it with me.

He will prefer summer to winter and love sunshine and beaches. He'll be excited to explore new places and find something fun to do whereever we go. But it won't really matter where we are... even if we're stuck in an airport with a 3-hour delay... we will have fun because we're together.

So there he is. Now I think I'm supposed to talk to this guy who's out there in the Universe somewhere... I think I'll call him... Joe... (Joe was my first boyfriend's name. And it does have a nice generic feel to it.) If any of you know Joe (oh yeah... he also has to be single and around my age) please let him know I'm looking for him.

OK, Joe. I know you're out there! Come find me before we get much older, please!