Happiness is... Realizing a Medical Scare is not as Bad as You Feared

Me and my sexy, curvy spine cutting loose on the dance floor with son-in-law, Chris!

I have been SO scared these last two weeks.  I didn't write a blog post about it because it really didn't fit in with my blog theme..  Happiness is... being scared to death that you are destined to live a life of debilitating back pain, lose all your independence, your retirement nest egg, have to live in a nursing home, leaving your children having to watch you suffer and thinking you'd be better off dead..  Yeah, those were the terrifying thoughts that were going through my head constantly. Not at all happy.

I have two conditions that can lead to some serious back pain: scoliosis (curved spine diagnosed when I was 13) and osteoporosis (loss of bone density diagnosed 4 years ago when I was 54).  I've told people that I feel like my spine is a human Jenga game and I'm afraid one day it will all collapse. And tragically, for some people, that happens.

That being said, I wasn't too worried about either of these conditions until this year when I started to have some pretty bad back pain. I went to a couple of doctors who recommended giving up running and building up my core muscles. I did those things, and yay! for the most part, the back pain got better.

I was very proud of my diligence in keeping up with my daily core exercises and walking (I am killing it on the FitBit!) and happy I could still do a lot of the activities I love..  especially hiking and dancing! I improved my eating habits and overall have felt extremely healthy, so was ready for a glowing report when I went in for my annual physical last month.

Most of the results came up positive except I'd lost another 1/2" of height leaving me at just 5'.05".  OK, not the end of the world.. but short is not usually associated with sexy. Just wear high heels, you say? Another thing I gave up because of the back problems. But, hey, short or not, I still can rock it on the dance floor, and losing another 1/2" was not really a huge cause for concern.

But just to be sure the height loss wasn't because of a fractured vertebra (which would indicate a very weak spine), I made an appointment to see someone at an Osteoporosis Clinic.  The doctor I saw there and what she said is what started me on this downward spiral of doom and gloom.  She ordered X-rays and when they came back it was obvious that my scoliosis curve had increased! In fact, it looked so freaky that I was amazed that I could walk, dance, or look normal at all!

The doctor at the Osteoporosis Clinic did a lot of things that scared me. In fact, every single thing she said was pessimistic on the first visit before even seeing the results of the X-ray.

• She told me her grandmother was in terrible back pain for years due to osteoporosis
• She told me most people die within a year of breaking a hip 
• When I asked her what exercises I could do to build bone density, she said that only walking for 30 minutes, 3x a week was clinically proven to improve bone density, giving me no other suggestions for exercise that would be a good idea for my health.
• She told me the improvement in my bone density scan was most likely a 'false positive' because of my scoliosis
• She told me she didn't recommend the current medicine I was on for bone density, but wouldn't give me recommendations for a different medicine without a follow-on visit. (I'm self-pay, and there's no way I'm going to pay another $300 for one more appointment with this doctor.)

When the X-Ray and results came back, they did not show the fracture that she was checking for (thank goodness!) but she did say, 'the severe scoliosis was what was likely causing my back pain.'

I put my freaky looking X-Ray on Facebook (something I now regret) because as comforting as all the thoughts, prayers, suggestions, and well-wishes were,  they also confirmed that everyone agreed that this looked bad... really bad.   Typically, I only put pictures on Facebook that make me look good, and this was worse than an ugly, naked picture. (By the way, I'm not going to post one to prove it, my curvy spine is not at all apparent in all the hot, sexy, naked pictures of me.)

In the mean time, after scouring the internet and getting books on both Scoliosis and Osteoporosis, I vacillated between hope and fear. There are 'alternative' chiropractic treatments for scoliosis, but they're controversial, especially for older people who's body has naturally adjusted to the curve.

There were lots of horror stories about pain with scoliosis, osteoporosis, and any associated surgeries. The torturous pain some people are enduring is unreal. One thing all the literature seemed to agree on... avoid spinal surgery if you can! It should only be done as a last resort.

Well, my appointment with the Orthopedic doctor was today and he was NOT CONCERNED AT ALL!! In fact, he said I should ski, run, do whatever I wanted! He said my spine looked great for my age (My poor freaky spine doesn't have to feel so bad after all..  Apparently, some people like curvy spines and he was a pretty hot doctor!)

Oh my God, you can't imagine the relief! I had been crying so much out of fear and now I was crying from relief! I didn't think such a prognosis was possible given that X-Ray.

Now, even though I mentally went from being scared shitless to rejoicing, I still have to consider the literature that says scoliosis that's progressing will keep progressing, so do something to stop it. According to this doctor and a lot of literature, braces and chiropractic treatments will not make things better, and can make things worse.  According to the chiropractic doctors, if you don't do something, it will get worse..  So, either way, I still am afraid the scoliosis will get worse, and I know the osteoporosis will get worse.

But, you know what? I'll worry about that another day..  For now, I'm more determined than ever to seize those pain-free days and thank God for every one of them!

Thank you, too, for all my friends and family who supported me through this scare. It's nice to know you all 'have my back'!