Milkshake - All that's good!

The thing about blogging is that the more you explore, the more sites you find that are doing wonderful things. I started The Love Project at the beginning of the year and, as a result, I found a bunch of other sites that are about spreading the love. And those sites promote other sites and soon you realize the world is full of so many good people, making a difference and spreading goodness.

One of those sites which I discovered recently is "Milkshake." I get a daily newsletter from Milkshake that is (in their words): "dedicated to finding the good in everything: Companies, causes, people, places and products which give back and make a difference."

I've been getting the daily email for about two weeks now, and I'm always inspired by the messages and products and cool causes they promote. I encourage you to check it out for yourself!

Ten reasons to subscribe to...

..my relationship column on Examiner.com

To learn:

1. How to make dating fun
2. How to reconnect with a spouse or partner
3. How to pick a great venue for a date
4. How to date successfully
5. How to navigate the online dating sites
6. How to play on a date
7. How to get over insecurities and build confidence
8. How to get dates
9. How to build intimacy
10. How to banish dating fears

But even if you don't need to learn these things, subscribe for these reasons:

1. To help teach others
2. If you have a business, product or event, I may be able to help you promote it
3. Spark conversation
4. Make new friends (maybe even a date!!)
5. Ask questions
6. Trade links
7. Help spread the word
8. Help me make a little cash! (If I get a certain number of subscribers, my pay level gets bumped up.)

Everyone (whether single or married, male or female, old or young) would benefit from dating. So, go ahead! Subscribe!!

November Love Drop: Marci from Colorado

This month I resolved to blog more and stay on top of things like the Love Drop, so when I got the email this morning, I watched the video right away.

This one really hit home for me. First of all, Fort Collins is only an hour away... maybe I'll even tag along for the actual "drop" and meet Marci and her family. Secondly, I have good friends who are breast cancer survivors so I am close to the cause. And finally, I am a mother, and I'm certain Marci wants to be healthy not just for herself, but for her children and husband.

Please pass the word along. Let's help Marci and her family have a vacation to remember.

From the love drop team:

Meet Marci: http://LoveDrop.us

She's a super strong wife and mom of three from Colorado, who's not only beat breast cancer ONCE, but TWICE. And unfortunately she's been diagnosed yet again, but this time with Stage IV cancer that's spread into her lungs and lymph nodes :(

The most important thing in her life right now is quality time with her family, so we want to give them an all-expense-paid vacation before she begins her toughest battle yet. All of the money y'all have already sent in (or will be sending in) is going straight for them to spend some time together. So if her story resonates with you, or you happen to have some good airline/hotel/vacation hookups going on, def. be sure to give us a shout :) She's been through some tough times in the past 10 years so far, but she's remaining positive and gonna do her best to kick its ass again!

Mesothelioma Cancer Awareness

Don't know what Mesothelioma cancer is? Check out http://www.mesothelioma.com/blog.

This month is Breast Cancer Awareness month and I must say, I'm more aware of breast cancer than ever. There are all sorts of efforts going on. Even examiner.com is having a drive and asked us to write about breast cancer awareness in our topic area. (Since I'm the dating adviser, I came up with some date ideas!)

However, there are other, lesser-known cancers that don't get nearly the same kind of visibility. As a result of my last post about Race for the Cure, David Haas contacted me and asked me about being a guest blogger on my blog about Mesothelioma Cancer. He said:

I recently have been researching and writing about how beneficial cancer support networks and also staying physically fit is to people going through treatments, in remission, and even family members of cancer patients.

To be honest, I hadn't even heard of Mesothelioma Cancer until I checked out the site David referred me to: http://www.mesothelioma.com/blog This cancer is a result of exposure to asbestos and it's deadly.

David is a guest blogger for the Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance. Their blog and site provides inspiration and information for researchers, bloggers, survivors and advocates that cover all different kinds of cancer and topics.

Though I told him my site is probably not the best avenue for cancer topics, I was happy to write a post to help get the word out.

This is just one more instance of how social media can change our world. I'm glad those who are living with cancer have places they can go for inspiration and support. And we can all do our part, at the very least, by letting others know what's out there. It's very easy if you're a blogger or have a social media network to spread the word. It can be as simple as a ReTweet!

So please help spread the word to visit http://www.mesothelioma.com/blog

By the way, the Komen Race for the Cure was incredible! Huge crowds wearing pink and running in support of such a worthy cause. And I am so proud of my friend, Rebecca Ritter, a survivor who raised over $2500 for the cause!

Racing for a Cure - Please Help!

Anyone who's known me for any length of time has probably been hit up by me at some point or another to sponsor me for some kind of charitable event. Last year I asked for prayers, rather than money, but I know many of you still contributed to charities, cause... that's just the type of wonderful friends you are.

Well, this year I'm back to asking for money.

One of the people who's been in my prayers is my amazing friend, Rebecca Ritter. She's a breast cancer survivor. In fact, she's done more than survive. She lives life more fully than most of us ever will. So when she asked me to join her and her daughter in the Race for the Cure this year, I said, "Absolutely!"

Now, instead of asking you to contribute to my page, I'd rather help Rebecca reach her goal of $1500. She's about half-way there, but I told her that I would love to help her reach that goal. I assured her that my friends were very used to my frequent pleas for contributions and that they were generous, both with their money and their prayers.

To contribute to the Race for the Cure, go to Rebecca's page and click on the link to the right, under her picture that says: "Donate to Rebecca!"

All the money goes to the Komen Foundation which will continue to help people like Rebecca, who have been diagnosed with breast cancer. Thanks to research, we have come a long way, and I am so grateful that Rebecca is strong and healthy. Let's make sure she and others who have been diagnosed with breast cancer will get the help and support they need to beat this disease.

PS.Think about joining us on October 2nd by pressing the "Join Rebecca's Team!" link on Rebecca's page. It's a 5K (3.1 miles) with lots of walkers, so no need to be a runner to join in the fun!

New Love, New Life

Here's a picture of my new love -- my baby granddaughter born August 29th.

I was hoping she'd be born on August 26th -- the first Anniversary of her great grandfather's death -- but the 29th is close enough.

The year + 3 days between my Dad's death and his great granddaughter's birth has come with many ups and downs. I think much more often about mortality. My amazing friend Craig died in December at age 50. And other friends and family have received the awful news of a cancer diagnosis. I wonder if this is what life will be like now in my later years... Worrying about who will be next?

I have been searching for another love, but lately, I've been morosely thinking that I'd rather be single than be a widow. I don't know if I could bare the grief of losing a spouse to death.

But why am I here talking about death, when just the opposite has occurred. A beautiful, perfect baby has been born. How will Dad find his way in her? Will she have his love of Math? His corny sense of humor? I look at those tiny hands, at that blissful, sleeping doll and think how miraculous life is. I remember that day I became a mother -- the day I looked at my perfect daughter, this baby's mother -- and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, there was a God. There is no way something so wonderful could have just been created "randomly."

When the people we love die, life can feel so meaningless. Is this it? We're just going to live until we die? All this "stuff" we do all day... why do we even do it? Why does it even matter? We are just going to die.

And then there is a birth. I look at the innocent baby and know she will have the love passed down from her great grandfather who loved me who loved her mother who loves her. And I know then that it does matter. Every smile my father gave me. Every day he worked hard to give us a wonderful childhood. Every tickle he tortured me with. It mattered. Love matters.

And now, beautiful little girl, though you will never get to meet him, your great grandfather's love lives within you.

Love Drop: Help Felicity

I've been very remiss on passing along news of what's going on with the Love Drop. What a great group of people that pull together to help someone in need. This month they are helping Felicity, a little girl with a brain tumor. And this family has also had to endure the recent and sudden loss of Felicity's young uncle. I can't imagine what they must be going through.

Here's the information about Felicity and how you can help:

The Love Drop team is at it again! Last month they gave over $5,000 worth of cash and goods to their recipient, the Aubin family, who was struggling financially after the passing of their dad, and this month they're ready to do it again and help out another person :) They've given out over $45,000 in the past 6 months, and show no signs of stopping. If you know of anyone yourself that could use their help, make sure to let them know.

This month they're heading down to Atlanta to help Felicity, a little 4-year-old girl who was just diagnosed with brain cancer. Felicity had immediate surgery and is currently undergoing aggressive radiation treatments for the remaining portion of her tumor. We want to raise $5,000 for her family to help cover mounting medical costs, as well as the future expenses a new baby on its way will bring. With your support and generosity, we can really do something special for them!

Here are three ways you can help:

1. Give $25 towards medical bills <-- Click this link to contribute $25 towards Felicity's radiation treatments. It'll help them out a ton!

2. Give a gift or service- Gift cards are always helpful. Places like Target, Wal-mart, restaurants, etc would definitely help them out. Services too - especially those you can offer yourselves, or from your company.

3. Join our blogger network - Blog about our Love Drops each month like I am :) It's easy, it's rewarding, and it REALLY helps spread the word (which in turn helps our families). Love Drop will give you all the content you need.

Thanks so much guys! Here's to a great month of paying it forward!

Can You Feel Intimacy From Blogging?

I've been quiet on this blog lately, thinking about why I blog -- what's good about blogging and what's not so good.

My life has been going through the usual ups and downs. One "good" about blogging about my life is that it's very therapeutic to write my thoughts down. I often journal privately and just the act of writing down my thoughts and feelings helps me think more clearly. My mood comes through. If I notice that my words are negative and that I'm in pity-party-mode, I play "therapist" with myself. If I'm in a happy mood, I write about why I'm happy -- the awesome things I'm experiencing and about the people I'm spending time with. Reading about these things when I'm in one of those down moods reminds me of how much I have to be grateful for and helps me snap out of the pity party.

Now, private journals are one thing, but blogging and making these feelings public can be... well, both good and bad. Exposing our vulnerabilities and making a connection with someone who understands what we're feeling is wonderful. You feel this intimacy with someone who you've never met.

There are bloggers and writers who have such a talent for enveloping me with their words of wisdom. So while writing and reading my own journals is nice, sharing with a fellow-blogger who is able to so clearly articulate exactly the feelings I'm trying to describe -- well, when that happens, I feel like I've met a kindred spirit out here in cyberspace who really understands me and it warms my heart.

I read a post this morning, Have You Found the Two Great Treasures of Blogging?, in which the author, Stu, talked about the importance of building "community" when we blog. I agree that this "community" and the virtual friendships I've made is probably the biggest benefit I've gotten from blogging.

What about romantic relationships? Can they develop from a virtual friendship? I know that I'm a sucker for the written word. One time I met a guy from online dating and we used to write these wonderful emails back and forth where we shared so much of our lives. He called it "eIntimacy" and I thought it was a very cool word. It's a new form of intimacy that really wasn't available to us before we had the Internet.

However, one of the things that makes "intimacy" intimate is that it's one-on-one and personal. When you are sharing with the world, it takes away from the intimate nature of the conversation. You are no longer sharing your feelings with someone special, you're sharing them with everyone, which actually seems to be the opposite of intimacy.

What do you think? Have you met virtual friends from blogging? Do you feel like blogging can enhance or detract from having an intimate connection with someone? Should our deepest feelings be saved for truly intimate relationships rather than airing them on a public blog?

Remembering Dad

Just remembering my Dad today...

Happy Father's Day!

Looking for my soul mate, "Joe"

I don't put much stock into all this cosmic woo-woo stuff about love. I think there's something to be said for being positive, which is a lot of what "the law of attraction" is all about, but I have to resist from rolling my eyes when people start talking about soulmates and putting things out into the "universe." But let's face it. I've tried just about everything else, so I'm going to do what Arielle Ford suggests in her seminar on how to "manifest my soulmate." She says the first key is to have clarity in who I'm looking for. So here goes:

I want someone who has a genuine, friendly smile coupled with a mischievous, playful twinkle in his eye. We'll be able to look at each other across a room and share a secret look... a look that might say, 'I can't wait until we're alone' or maybe just say, 'I have gas. Aren't you glad you're over there?' His smile, his touch, his voice will make my heart beat faster and fill my stomach with butterflies. I'll love his words, his humor, his intelligence, and his kindness. He will most likely be a father, but even if he's not, he will love kids - being somewhat of a kid himself... loving to play and laugh, happy to join in any goofy game or activity.

My "soulmate" will laugh when I make a corny joke, hold me when I cry, and be happy to snuggle as we watch a movie or just read quietly together. He'll think I'm pretty even when I don't have makeup on and he'll find creative, personal ways to show me he loves me. He'll love it that I celebrate the anniversary of our first kiss, the summer and winter solstice, and every unusual holiday there is.

He will be handsome but humble, strong but vulnerable, confident but not arrogant. We will both be independent, keeping our hobbies and friendships... but we won't feel insecure or jealous when we're apart, because we feel sure of our mutual love for one another.

He will care about health and won't smoke or do drugs. He'll have a healthy mind and won't dwell on anger or past hurts or grief. And he won't be judgmental of others. He'll be grateful for his strengths, passions and skills, and won't act superior to others.

When we talk, we'll each listen and support one another. We'll never run out of things to say, but sometimes we'll be happy just laying quietly together.

We won't share all the same interests or passions, but it won't matter. We will find things we both enjoy -- maybe traveling or cooking (and definitely eating!). He'll be happy to teach me things and learn from me, too. He'll love to learn and when he's excited or has learned something new, he'll want to share it with me as soon as he can. He'll text or call just to tell me something trivial because he'll know that I'll love that he wanted to share it with me.

He will prefer summer to winter and love sunshine and beaches. He'll be excited to explore new places and find something fun to do whereever we go. But it won't really matter where we are... even if we're stuck in an airport with a 3-hour delay... we will have fun because we're together.

So there he is. Now I think I'm supposed to talk to this guy who's out there in the Universe somewhere... I think I'll call him... Joe... (Joe was my first boyfriend's name. And it does have a nice generic feel to it.) If any of you know Joe (oh yeah... he also has to be single and around my age) please let him know I'm looking for him.

OK, Joe. I know you're out there! Come find me before we get much older, please!