Snow and I are taking a little break...

This time Snow has gone too far. Hey, I've told him all along that I was never serious. I've always been honest with him and told him that he needs to give me space, but he refuses to listen to me. He can be SO flaky! By Spring, I admit, I'm fed up. I'm highly intolerant of his presence and I just need to get away. I'd planned my escape for a Spring Break surprise visit to Sacramento. When I heard on the radio that Snow was planning on visiting Denver at that time, I taunted, "Ha Ha, Snow! Go ahead and come to Colorado while I'm gone! I'll be basking in California with the one I really love..Sun. He is something you'll never be... HOT!"


Well, it appears this maddened Snow because then he proceeded in making my life miserable. As I inched my way to the RTD park-n-ride yesterday, he splattered my windshield. To add insult to injury, he completely dumped on me when I got out of my car. Soaked and blinded by the mascara-induced tears, I unsuccessfully attempted to push soggy bills into the parking machine. Snow may have thought I'd succumb to this madness, but I persevered, willing to get a parking ticket if necessary.


I rode the very late and very slow bus and rejoiced that I could ignore Snow and let the bus driver deal with him. I'd given myself extra time and knew I soon would be free of his nasty tantrum.


But it was not to be. Snow continued his hissy-fit by attacking the plane, leaving airline personnel telling us every half hour that "they were working on de-icing." I felt a twinge of guilt for not warning them that it was all my fault. I never should have snubbed Snow. I looked out the window and tried to make up: "Snow, you're beautiful and I love you at Christmas, but please... let me go visit Sun! Do you realize you're not just detaining me, but all these other people? Even that poor young mother with the infant and increasingly loud and annoying toddler?"


Snow didn't listen. After 4 hours of waiting, the airline personnel finally cancelled the flight and told us we could rebook at the counter between gates 35 and 36. I calmly proceeded to the counter to find a line that most certainly must have been the longest line in recorded history. Where's Guinness with his World Record book when you need him? Since I hadn't been able to get a workout in, I appreciated the mile long trek to the back of the line. The poor mother and her screaming toddler were close behind me. I remembered the days when Megan was a screaming toddler and how upset I was when I'd heard an impatient man saying: "They should put a muzzle on that kid." At last, I could finally understand how that man felt.


When standing in lines at amusement parks, Scotty and I often play a game where we calculate our estimated wait time, based on our observations of how quickly the line is moving and our placement in line. We're experienced enough at this now that we're amazingly accurate. With this perfected algorithm, I calculated that if I stayed in that line, I would have been at the front at 3:05pm March 31, 2011. I decided I'd be better off trying to catch the last bus home and calling Frontier to try and get rebooked.


I dug my car out of the Park-n-Ride parking lot, braved the midnight storm, and tunnelled my car through the unplowed neighborhood streets, not getting stuck until I got to the edge of my driveway. I stepped out of the car, sinking and tripping, Snow filling my shoes and caking my pants as I lugged my suitcase and laptop up my driveway trying to keep them out of Snow's wet grasp. I did not give Snow the satisfaction of reacting. I simply said, "Fine... Stay tonight. But if you think I'm going to be lying down and making snow angels with you, you are sadly mistaken."


Today Snow has calmed down a little and I'm trying again to go visit Sun. Snow can be a tumultuous wind-bag, but I admit, he has a side to him that can be peaceful. If only he'd learn not to push the limits, I might even enjoy him. We'll get through this. He'll melt and next year I'll enjoy his sparkles.


But for now... I'm off to visit Sun at last! Hooray!

10 Best Love Blogs for Women

It's time for me to start getting serious about promoting The Laptop Dancer Diaries. Self-promotion feels a little weird, but I know it must be done.

I was telling my friend, Rebecca Mullen of Altared Spaces, that in order to get visibility into your blog, one strategy is to find others that are blogging about similar things.

There are several blog catalogs and different methods for doing this, but one easy way is simply to google. In my case, I googled "Love Blogs" and quickly found an article at All Women' Stalk called: 10 Best Love Blogs for Women!

What a treasure chest of great blogs and love stuff! Well, the problem, of course, is then you find so much great information that you spend all day reading and get distracted and never end up blogging yourself.

So, I'm just going to take one resource at a time and try to blog as much as possible about "All things LOVE" and today the resource I'll point you to is All Women' Stalk.

First, the title... The play on words is Totally Cool!! I much prefer "All Women's Talk" to "All Women Stalk" as the FaceBook Fan Page has it listed -- but Talk/Stalk... OK we do both. I hate to think of myself as a "stalker," but... I suppose there are times when I've been infatuated enough to fall into that mode. One of my friends once had this great quote about stalking. It was something like: "The difference between a secret admirer and a stalker depends on whether or not the object of their affection wants their attention." I'm going to assume any person that I'm interested in would like that I'm interested in them, and thus absolve myself from any "stalker guilt."

In any case, I perused the site and it looks like a good women's eZine. The main menu shows categories for Fashion, Beauty, Celebrities, Love, Dieting, Wellness, and Lifestyle. I, of course, honed right in on the "Love" category, 'cause, again, I'm preparing to be the Love Know-it-All. Under Love, there is Dating Tips, Breakup Tips, Sex Tips, Relationships, and Wedding.

All of that is interesting to me, so... where to begin? Well the first article that is up today in the Love Category is: Top 12 Seduction Tricks That Always Work on Guys. Hmmm! I think I could definitely benefit from reading that. In the sequel to The Laptop Dancer Diaries, I could try and use a new seduction trick on each man-of-the-month! Actually, since the sequel is going to be mostly untrue, this is sounding like a very achievable goal! (But, of course, I just MAY need to do a little research along the way...)

Hallelujah - New Lyrics

I love the music of the song Hallelujah, but the lyrics are sad so I've rewritten them.

Hallelujah - The Love Song


Well, I heard there was a secret chord
To teach us love and it pleased the Lord
So I vowed to learn and tell the story to you.
Well it goes like this: you find your gift
And when you fall, you know you'll lift
The baffled girl composing Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Well, your faith was strong; despite the pain
Not for a moment did you complain
The sickness seeping, deeper and deeper through you
You smiled from your wheeled chair
You wrote a book of dreams you shared
And from your lips you still prayed Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Friends I've seen you here before
I've seen you cry as we've walked this floor
You know, I was alone before I knew you
And now we've grown as we embrace
We've learned to run a victory race
It's a warm and it's a lovely Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Well there's a time I know I'm blessed
I gaze upon my babes at rest
And know my love is more than I can tell you
I remember when the babe was you
And now you're grown and have one too
And every breath it's true is Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

I know there is a God above
And all I've ever learned from love
Was how to find somebody who saw through you
To laugh and cry and hold at night
To find someone who's seen the light
It's a warm and it's a joyous Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

The Unpublished Epilogue: The secret to falling in love

I never published this Epilogue... I haven't written about my dating life since I wrote The Laptop Dancer Diaries because I've wanted to respect the privacy of my dates. This guy, in particular, is very private. We broke up recently, mostly because of the differences in our communication styles. I've changed his name and asked if I could publish this and he agreed. I learned a great lesson from his son and it's something I wanted to share...

Epilogue

January 1, 2010

Last night I spent New Year’s Eve enjoying the evening with three cute guys. Two of them were the children of the man I’m dating, but they were very cute, just the same. As for the man – Jason – well, he’s much more than cute.

The The Laptop Dancer Diaries took place in 2008. In 2009, I did some dating, but with little expectation of finding a mate. I was content with my life and felt ready to accept a fate of singleness. Then for some reason, last month, I got the urge to explore the world of online dating one more time before I crossed over into that decade I’d been dreading for so long – the fifties.

The first profile I came across was Jason’s. His profile included only a couple of sentences but contained just the adjectives and descriptions that were most important to me… playful, confident, love of children, spiritual. He was 48, so entirely age-appropriate. His face smiled out from his profile photo and my heart felt that little tingle of hope. Of course, if you’ve read the book, you know my history with online dating is pretty dismal. I have learned people are usually much better in their profiles than in real life.

Not so with Jason. Our first meeting was at a cozy pub that he’d suggested. We sat in front of the fire and chatted and I immediately liked him. I always thought when I found the right guy, I’d know it. There would be no questions or fears or worries. I’d just know he was right. And that’s exactly what I felt.

Amazingly, Jason liked me, too. Two days later, I was having a romantic dinner at his house. Soon after that, I was relaxing in his hot tub, feeling snowflakes on my face, looking up at the sky and feeling like I’d found a piece of heaven.

The happy surprises continued as I got to know Jason better. His children are polite and sweet – such little gentlemen who charm me with their smiles and giggles. Last night, Jason let me share in the good-night rituals, and when 11-year-old Connor reached out his arms for a hug and kiss good-night, I choked back a tear – I was so moved by his innocent acceptance and affection. Could I already love this little family when I’ve only just met them?

My relationship with Jason is too new for me to declare that I’ve fallen in love. Those words scare me. What if he doesn’t feel the same way about me? I don’t think I can survive another broken heart.

But I think about that innocent affection that Connor showed me and know I want to be like that. I want to love without fear. If it doesn’t last forever, it will hurt, but I’ll survive. And if I don’t take the risk, I will never know what might have been. Even if it only lasts a month or a week or a day or an hour … I want to know the joy of loving someone.

I started this book looking for a cookbook approach to falling in love and I think I’ve found the answers. Find out who you are. Take risks. Live life to the fullest. Live like you are the protagonist of a book. Love all the people around you – your friends, your family, your pets and even your laptop, if you want. Love God, life, the ocean and the mountains. Figure out what’s right for you and don’t let anyone – not even your inner-angel or inner-devil guilt you into doing anything you don’t want to do. Love yourself.

And when that right person comes along, love like a child that’s never been hurt -- reach out your arms and give of your heart. Trust that whether it lasts for a minute or for a lifetime, it will be worth it.

And that’s the secret for falling in love.