Sunday, February 13, 2011

Showing off my RAK: Attention grabbing profile photos

This week the Love Project theme is Kindness in support of the Random Acts of Kindness promotion. There's this "Twibbons" Facebook App that helps spread the word by adding RAK WEEK to your profile photo. So, being a RAK supporter, I promptly did this without noticing that RAK WEEK ran right across my... uh... "rack" until I got a "Trying so hard not to make an inappropriate comment" comment from one of my Facebook flirt buddies.

Now, I don't normally advertise my "rack" but, hey, I love a double-entendre. I don't think the Twibbons people had that in mind when they designed the caption, but it works for me.

This reminded me of an online dating topic I've been meaning to blog about: Attention grabbing profile photos.

I've heard over and over that the biggest way to get any kind of attention with online dating is with the primary profile picture. Most people do a search and then scan through the photos looking for someone appealing. But what exactly is appealing?

As I wrote about in this blog post about what I find sexy in a photo, for me it's much more about the smile and the eyes than the body. And if I see a photo where someone is trying to show off their body, it's a downright turn-off. I tend to stay away from the profiles with photos of shirtless guys flexing their muscles -- not that I don't appreciate a good body. It just seems self-centered to post a photo that says: 'Look at how sexy I am!'

Of course, we all want people to notice how sexy we are while somehow remaining innocently unaware and humble. I was once helping a very muscular friend of mine get pictures for his profile. I told him to wear a form fitting shirt and I would snap a bunch of candid photos and hopefully, they would hint at his great physique without blatantly showing it off.

What kind of message does it send when women have revealing cleavage or suggestive clothing in their profile photos? Do men think "sexy" or "sleazy"? Do they ever get the same turn-off factor that I get, thinking she must be really into herself? I'll have to ask my male friends about this...

By the way.. This week starts Haley's 12-week-dating-challenge and I am SO on this! I had a really great "first meeting" date last night, having lunch with witty OKCupid Bad/Good Boy today (maybe I'll get him to comment here), and two lunches planned for the week. I'm really looking forward to all of them! I'm back in the saddle!


ASDF said...

Your RAK picture is pretty tame by internet dating standards, but it gives the reader a general idea of your physique. So mission accomplished. I would include one more of you standing up, in jeans and a t-shirt, or an action picture of you in shorts and a tank top. There is nothing sleazy about that.

I do some internet dating, and there are 4 types of women (in their 20s):

- Fat women who go to great lengths to hide their physique (face pictures only, blurry zoomed out pictures etc etc)

-Girls who do what you do. Post sensible, clothed pictures which give the reader the impression that they have a decent build, but still leave quite a bit to the imagination.

-Girls who post pictures of themselves in bikinis at the beach. Not necessarily sleazy, but you can guess that they probably adhere to the 3 date rule.

-Girls who post trampy boudoir pictures of themselves.

For your main profile picture, your face is most important, because that is all people will see when they are scanning thumbnail pictures.

Yvette said...

Thanks for the feedback, ASDF!

Yeah, I'm guessing most men probably like the bikini-clad photos as long as the body looks good in a bikini.

Once again, I think it's that fine line between confidence and arrogance that you don't want to cross over and if the photo is "posed" to show off your body, it does come across as a bit arrogant.

On the other hand, it is always good to go out with someone who feels secure and good about their body.