Friday Funnies: Kindness Humor

OK, people, it's getting tougher and tougher to find a theme-related "Friday Funny." I have managed to stick with this Love Project resolution this long, but I have to think of my reputation! If I post a stupid joke here, whoever the Anonymous person who commented that I was "hot" yesterday may change his mind!

After spending way too much time searching for "Kindness Humor," the best I could come up with is this joke found at a Travel Agent Humor Site.

Pure Kindness - Travel Agent Joke

Act of kindness? A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an older lady and an older gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world. The agent had had a good week and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity.

He called them into his shop and said, 'I know that on your pension you could never hope to have a holiday, so I am sending you off to a fabulous resort at my expense, and I won't take no for an answer.'

He took them inside and asked his secretary to write two flight tickets and book a room in a five star hotel. They, as can be expected, gladly accepted, and were on their way.

About a month later the little lady came in to his shop. 'And how did you like your holiday?' he asked eagerly.

'The flight was exciting and the room was lovely,' she answered. 'I've come to thank you. But, one thing puzzled me. Who was that old guy I had to share the room with?'

Are you LYAO? I'm guessing that one didn't even warrant an LOL, so, here's another challenge for all you Love Project participants (uh.. Shirley... I think that would be you.) Each week when I announce the theme, put on your humor hat and come up with a funny video or blog post about the theme. We'll make it go viral. Or.. use your cyber-surf skills and recommend something that's already out here. Right now there seems to be a shortage of Kindness Humor, so if anyone wants to fill that gap, go at it!

Do Kind Guys Finish Last?

Now that I'm back on the dating scene, I figured it might be fun to do a blog post about dating and the Love Project theme of the week: Kindness.

"Nice guys finish last" is a common theme in dating circles. Here are two variations that basically say the same thing:

Free Online Dating Tips: Why Nice Guys Finish Last
Heartless Bitches International's: "Nice guys" = Bleah!

Basically, after reading these, I'd say they are equating "Nice guys" to "Insecure guys." It appears that in the context of dating, the term "nice guys" has come to mean the socially awkward, spineless, passive guys who put the women they want to date up on pedestals and don't know how to think for themselves.

(For the record, I don't think we should abuse the adjective "nice" this way. Nice is nice. It's not insecure. A guy CAN be both confident and nice... but I digress.)

What about "kind guys?" Since "kind" and "nice" are pretty darn similar adjectives, are "kind guys" also considered undesirable low-lifes that don't have a back-bone?

I checked one of my favorite blog sites about dating, Hooking Up Smart. (Susan Walsh, the author at this site, practically does a dissertation with every well-researched blog post.)

In The Nice Guy Dilemma, Susan covers not only "nice" but "kind." From the post:

Research also demonstrates that women prize kindness in men. Last month the British Journal of Psychology published a Canadian study (link here) that showed online dating profiles to 300 volunteers. Some of the profiles were altered to demonstrate kindness and altruistic interests. The women showed a strong preference for those profiles, even where the clues were fairly subtle. Dr. Pat Barclay, author of the study says:

This suggests that women are attuned to generosity, and that altruism serves a purpose in mate selection. If a man is kind and generous towards others – even strangers – then there’s a good chance that he’d make a good and generous parent.

Dr Viren Swami, a specialist in interpersonal attraction from the Department of Psychology at the University of Westminster had a similar take:

Our research has found ‘agreeableness’ to be particularly important to whether people are attracted to each other. Altruism could be regarded as one component of agreeableness.

It’s been suggested that men deliberately play up their altruistic tendencies as a way of demonstrating that they’re not just after sex. I think that sounds like a good strategy as long as it’s not completely fabricated. A man’s being eager to reassure women about this is probably a tip-off that he is a man of good character, and wants that to come across in his profile.

Interestingly, while men valued signals of kindness when looking for a LTR, they found it off-putting when looking for something short-term. One researcher hypothesized that men don’t want their hookups distracted by other interests, but I’d venture a different idea. I think it’s much harder to f*ck over a woman when you know from the start that she is kind. It feels just a bit crappier if you can’t pretend she’s a cold-hearted wench.

Susan also makes reference to the Sexademic blog post: Kindness and Hot Sex are Not Mutually Exclusive. In this post, once again, kindness seems to come out OK. You can still be kind and good in bed. (Phew!)

I guess bottom line here is that "kindness" seems to be a desirable trait, particularly if you're seeking a long-term-relationship. Being "kind" doesn't seem to get the same negative connotation that being "nice" does. (This is a relief since I instructed those participating in The Love Project to Be Kind this week. I'm thinking I should stay away from a "Nice" theme...)

And what about "bad boys?" Is it true that in order to get the girl, you have to be a jerk? While it's true that there are jerks that get women, I don't think it's the jerk behavior that gets her, I think it's the confidence. Jerk, nice, or kind, if you don't have confidence, you're gonna strike out... or more likely, you'll never even get up to bat because you'll be sitting on the sidelines.

Of course, we all look for certain traits in a romantic partner. Positive traits, in my opinion would include kindness, confidence, and yes...even niceness. Negative traits would be jerks (or disrespectful behavior) and insecurity.

So, in answer to the question, no, it doesn't look like kind guys finish last. In fact, if they're confident, they'll finish first -- at least in my book.

Website Wednesday: Top Sites about Kindness

It is the Love Project tradition to share Websites and blogs about the theme of the week, and this week that theme is Kindness.

Love Project MVP
girl nutkin in the BA - #love2011: thoughts for week 7

Websites and Pay it Forward Communities
Random Acts of Kindness
HelpOthers.org
Akoha.com
One Act of Kindness

Blogs about Kindness
One Million Moments of Kindness
Random Blogs of Kindness
Kindness and Kisses
Embrace Your Spirit of Wonder - Pental Blog

Related Posts on My Blog (This hyper link will bring up the posts below and more.)
World Kindness Week - Spread Kindness!
Spreading Kindness and Love with a Recorded Call
Are Kindness and Love Synonomous?
Kindness Tips from Pick The Brain

Know of other blogs or resources related to love or any related themes? Let me know and I'll add them on Wednesdays and to my Love Link List!

Love Project Assignment 7: Be Kind

Today starts Week 7 of The Love Project and since I know Random Acts of Kindness is getting ready to kick off Extreme Kindness Week starting February 14, I thought it would be a good week to revisit Kindness.

Assignment 7: Do something kind for someone.

Pretty simple! If you blog either about your act of kindness or an act of kindness that was done for you, I'll added it to this week's Website Wedneday.

Extra Credit: Want a bigger challenge? Take the Extreme Kindness Challenge. From the press release:

“The ‘extreme’ in our challenge is that we’re urging people to take their kind acts to extremes by committing to do a random act of kindness every day for a week,” explained Marilyn Decalo, director of the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation. “We’ll provide plenty of help with daily action prompts and daily updates on how many acts of kindness the group completes. We believe that encouraging extreme kindness in this way is Our Ticket to a Kinder World.”

who's in?

Being Touched By Strangers

I've blogged a few times before about Random Acts of Kindness. I think the idea of kindness and "paying it forward" are wonderful ways to make our world a better place.

I'm especially touched when someone who doesn't really know me is kind to me. In the many fund-raising events I've done, it's so awesome when I get a donation from someone I don't really know -- maybe someone who I've just stumbled across thanks to social media. I put those kinds of people -- people who are just genuinely kind -- in a special class. I really respect their generosity. More than once, that kind of generosity has led to a treasured friendship. In fact, I got to know Craig, who I've blogged about so often, because, even though he didn't know me, he volunteered to help me at a Light the Night fundraising event for Leukemia. I got to know my friend, David, because he sent in a donation when I was fundraising for Leukemia. I only knew him as a "virtual" friend from a social networking site, but he has been one of the most generous and supportive friends I've ever had. It's those kind of people who I admire beyond words.

However, since my Cuddle Party post, I've been thinking a little more about boundaries when it comes to intimacy with strangers. Physically touching someone you don't know may be too much. At the very least it can seem disingenuous. Without having emotional intimacy, physical intimacy just seems inappropriate.

In this latest video from RAK, there's a woman who high-five's strangers and another one who sings "You are my Sunshine" to strangers. Another guy gives out flowers... giving two: one to keep and one to give to someone else. I know that when people on the sidelines of a race high-five me or cheer for me, I feel so wonderful and supported! It's awesome that strangers take the time to do that!

But...it is a little different if they don't really know you at all. Even the people on the sidelines at the marathon at least know I'm running a race so they are showing their support and that is so cool. But, I have to admit, I'd find it a little odd for a stranger on the street to offer up a hand looking for a high-five. I'd be thinking, "Did I just do something great that I don't know about?" or "Am I supposed to know this person?"

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not knocking the video or it's intentions. It's beautiful and sweet and I'm convinced that showing kindness randomly will absolutely make the world a better place. But while getting a a high-five, song, or a flower from a stranger would make me feel happy, I know the givers are doing it because they are kind, not because I am anyone special to them. And that's perhaps why "cuddling" or even hugging, now that I think about it, doesn't really seem appropriate. I don't think I'd get comfort getting a hug from someone who doesn't know me at all.

On the other hand, when a person doesn't know you personally, but has been exposed to you and what you might be going through, it can be very special. For example, at Craig's funeral, I felt such comfort in hugging and crying with his friends and family. It was a common grief for a man we all loved that bonded us, even though we were strangers.

Sometimes I'll get a kind response to a blog post or I'll get a nice email from someone who has read The Laptop Dancer Diaries. I get really excited to get emails from strangers because I know the person isn't just "being nice" because they're my friend. They are responding to something I wrote, so I feel like they know that part of me and I am so grateful when they share a little piece of themselves back with me. It's a little bit of intimacy... a shared bond of understanding that may or may not lead to a friendship. But for that moment, anyway, it feels wonderful.

But do we really want to be touched by someone who doesn't know us at all? Well... I'm not as crazy about the whole "Free Hugs" movement as I used to be. I don't have anything against it, but I can understand now why it might be a little off-putting. I think I'll save the high-fives and hugs with strangers for times when I at least know the recipient is publicly celebrating or in need of support. And cuddling? Definitely overstepping my boundaries.

However being kind without touching is easy... There's a huge virtual world out there of people who'd love to get a comment on their blog of shared understanding. There are millions of people who would love to get a genuine smile from a stranger. You can touch someone very deeply without "touching" them at all.

Kindness Tips from Pick The Brain

I'm going to wrap up this final day of World Kindness Week by pointing you to a post from Pick the Brain: Do This and People Will LOVE You - Even If They're Suspicious.

This article talks about how nice it is both to give and receive unexpected kindnesses... just little things that show someone we're thinking of them. Here are some ideas from the post:

● Bring in snacks for the office.

● Give friends and co-workers small gifts matching their interest.

● Compliment parents on their children in public places, particularly their behavior. Even if they weren’t perfect. Who is?

● Do the classic pay for the coffee of the car behind you thing in drive throughs.

● Show up with flowers for no reason.

● Take a few minutes to listen to someone who seems lonely.

● Send letters or cards to let people know you’re thinking of them.

Some people think it's more "selfless" to give a gift anonymously. They feel that if part of the reason you're giving the gift is to get recognition or thanks or love it's "selfish." The thing is, when you receive a gift you want to thank that person. You want them to know how grateful and happy you are for their kindness. You want to share that happiness with them by giving your thanks. If they're anonymous, you can't do that.

We all enjoy doing something that makes another person happy whether that's giving or thanking. Accepting a kindness graciously and with happiness is almost like a gift back to the giver. Doing a kindness for someone will make you both happy... it's a win-win deal.

So, whether you're the giver or receiver, enjoy the gift of kindness.

By the way, Pick the Brain is a great site with lots of articles about motivation and self-improvement. They also have a new "90 Days to a Better You" eBook that you can get for free along with some daily inspirational quotes and confidence builders. Check it out!

Are Kindness and Love Synonomous?

In honor of World Kindness Week, this week I'm blogging about kindness. This blog is all about love, however, and so the question I've been pondering is: Are kindness and love the same thing?

According to this recent blog post: Kindness is Not the Same as Love. The post gives these definitions for kindness:

Definitions of kindness:

Kindness is evidenced by goodness and charitable behavior, a pleasantness, tenderness and concern for others. According to Aristotle, kindness is an emotion manifesting itself by the desire to help somebody in need, without expecting anything in return. Peter Kreeft defines kindness as “sympathy, with the desire to relieve another’s suffering.” [Envoy Magazine, Vol 9.3, p. 20]

The difference between love and kindness:

Love, on the other hand, according to the article "wills what is best for the other" and makes the point that in some cases, such as parental discipline, love must outweigh kindness for the good of the child. The post is one that is coming from a religious perspective and also points out that an attitude which equates kindness to love can lead to euthanasia or atheism because God didn't save Christ from the suffering on the cross.

Both love and kindness mean doing what's best for the other person

Now, I agree that love and kindness are not exactly the same thing, but not for the same reasons stated in the blog post.

I think both love and kindness want what is best for the other person. I don't think kindness always means "relieving another's suffering" if we don't think that's what's best for the other person. Even in the stated definition, it's the desire to relieve another's suffering. However, it can be especially loving and kind to resist relieving that suffering if you feel that in the long run it is for the best of the other person. This might be comparable to being honest with someone even when it hurts them. If you can do this with respect, in my opinion it is a kind thing. You can discipline with kindness.

As for religion, well... I'm no theologist... but certainly everything in the world is not loving and kind, and I still believe in God. We all need to reach our own conclusions about why bad things happen to good people. Some things are out of our control. But I believe it's within all of our control to live with an attitude of kindness towards other people.

So are they the same thing?

I think that kindness is an aspect of love but not all of what love is. Love is a lot of things. It's something we give, something we receive, something we feel. But, as I surmised in my "8 Kinds of Love" post, there are different kinds of love but not too many different kinds of "kindness." Well... maybe there are, but the point is we are not always kind to people we love.

As the post points out, sometimes we are more kind to strangers than we are to our family members, but that doesn't mean we love them more. It could just mean we're being more polite to strangers... Or it could mean we take our family for granted, knowing they'll still love us, even when we're not so kind... Something to think about.

And sometimes we love someone romantically even when they're not necessarily kind! Actually, that doesn't happen to me too often... I definitely want kindness in a relationship... But I know it does happen! All the time you hear about people being more attracted to "bad boys" or "chicks with an attitude."

Another difference is that we can be super-kind to someone, but it won't necessarily get them to love us. In fact, it may even annoy them if they think we're just being kind so that they will love us. Or maybe they'll appreciate our kindness and think we're a really nice person, but they still won't "love" us.

I think true kindness does not expect anything in return. You're not being kind because you want someone to love you or because you want them to do something for you.. You just are being kind because it's your character. It's natural to smile and to speak respectfully and kindly to everyone you meet.

It is very easy to be kind. Be kind to strangers, to your family, to your friends, to your pets, to yourself... Perhaps the only people it's not easy to be kind to are people who we don't like. But what would happen if we were kind even to them? Well, that's a subject for another day... This blog post is already too long.

So while the meanings are not exactly the same, I'd say kindness is a key ingredient to love. If you're taking your friends and family for granted, maybe it's time to stop and consciously make an effort to treat them with special kindness. Make it a habit.

As for romantic love? Well, kindness won't guarantee you'll get that. But if kindness is a part of your character, you almost certainly will be loved.

Kindness for Troops and Veterans

In honor of World Kindness Week and Veterans Day, this is obviously a day to give thanks and show kindness to our troops. Find out what you can do to support our troops by reading about Operation Gratitude. As for veterans? There are bunch of fun things for you to enjoy today. A huge thanks to those who serve our country.

Support our Troops

I found this wonderful Website called Operation Gratitude. This group sends 100,000 care packages annually over to the troops. They also have all kinds of ideas of how you can help. Their blog is filled with ideas of things you can do to support our troops. Check out 10 Ways to Support Our Troops in November for details on everything from knitting scarves, to writing letters, to recycling cell phones.

Veteran's Day Freebies

It's nice to see that the community honoring veterans today, too. Here are some events and freebies for Veterans that I found in my Free Things to Do in Denver newsletter:

Veteran’s Day is November 11, 2010 and did you know there are nearly 24 million Veterans living among us? Well, we’re glad to see so many freebies out there for our active duty and retired military. Everything from a free one-day cruise to free dinners! Military ID is required for some offers. As Veteran’s Day approaches, it is refreshing to see that there are more and more companies who want to thank our veterans by providing them with discounts or a free meal. To those companies offering veterans a free meal or discount, we give a collective thanks. Check out the free ticket offers, free drinks and other fundraisers and celebrations for members of the military.

Anheuser-Busch Parks Free Admission

Complimentary admission for active duty military representing all five service branches, active members of a reserve or National Guard unit, and/or up to three direct dependants. Valid for one complimentary single-day admission per person, per year, to one of the following Anheuser-Busch Adventure Parks:

SeaWorld Orlando, San Diego, or San Antonio

Busch Gardens Tampa Bay or Williamsburg

Sesame Place

Adventure Island

Water Country USA

Offer valid through 12/31/2010. Operating days and hours vary by park. Please check with specific park for current operating schedule. Learn more.

Applebee’s — Come on out and enjoy a free meal. Veterans and active duty eat free on Nov. 11, 2010. The freebie menu has seven options, including a burger, salad, chicken, sirloin, and shrimp. Dine in only. Beverages and tip not included. ID required.

Bed and Breakfasts free — A long list of B&Bs are offering a free night stay to veterans on Nov. 10, 2010. Most of the B&Bs are already booked (those marked FULL), but there are a few left.

Brides Across America – Military wives can get a free wedding dress Nov. 8-13 at select locations across the county. The dresses are donated by a slew of designers and sell for $500 to $3,000. Sizes range from 4 to 22.

Claim Jumper — Free dessert for veterans and active duty military with ID is available on Nov. 10, 2010. Dine in only.

Dollar General — Veterans, active duty, national guard and their immediate families get a 10% veteran discount on all purchases on Nov. 11, 2010. (See screen one in above link.)

FLW Outdoors Digital Magazine – For National Guard Members. Here’s what you get: Bass or walleye editions , Player’s Advantage for Fantasy Fishing, Digital editions…and the ability to read FLW Outdoors Magazine anywhere you serve.

Free Audio and paperbacks – Free paperbacks and audiobooks – MilitaryOneSource.com offers ten free paperback / audiobooks per year to those in the military and their families.

Free one day cruise to the Bahamas – Discovery Cruise Line is inviting all Military who have served or are serving in Iraq or Afghanistan during the last year on a complimentary one day cruise from Ft,. Lauderdale, FL to Grand Bahama Island valid until December 31, 2010. Discovery will provide the free one day Bahamas Cruise including the cost of all buffet meals, all service charges, taxes and Bahamian Departure Fees. There are no additional costs involved.

Golden Corral — On Monday, Nov. 15, 2010 from 5-9 p.m., veterans, active duty, reserve, and national guard members can get a free dinner buffet. Last year they fed 335,000 people!

Hooters – Get a free meal from a special menu at participating restaurants when you purchase a beverage. Available for veterans and active military with ID. Dine in only. Cannot be combined with other discounts. Up to an $8.50 value.

The Home Depot – Veterans get a 10% military discount year round. Show your military ID at checkout.

Hy-vee – The midwestern grocery chain with in-store dining is serving free breakfast buffet to veterans on Nov. 11 from 7-11 a.m.

Knott’s Berry Farm — Through Nov. 24, 2010, admission is free to veterans or active duty military personnel plus one guest. Get up to six extra tickets for $15 each. ID required. Eligible person must be present. Dependent I.D.s will not be accepted.

Lowe’s — Just like rival Home Depot, Lowe’s offers a 10% military discount year round. Show your military ID at checkout.

McCormick & Schmick’s -- Veterans get a free meal from a special menu on Sunday, Nov. 7, 2010. Reservations strongly suggested. ID required.

National Parks — Some 393 National Parks across 49 states are free to everyone on Nov. 11, 2010.

New Balance — Shipping on sneakers and everything else is free for everyone through Nov. 11, 2010.

Outback Steakhouse – Veterans and active duty will be treated to a free bloomin’ onion and non-alcoholic beverage of their choice on Nov. 11, 2010.

Red Roof – Veterans get a hotel discount of 15% at participating Red Roof hotels for the month of November. Mention your military status over the phone or when you book online use coupon code 606310. ID required.

Sam’s Club – Free Canes for for Veterans – For Veterans Day (November 10th, 11th and 12th), Sam’s Club will be giving away 36,000 free Hugo canes to United States Military Veterans in need of mobility assistance. Quantities are limited per club. Available while supplies last. Sam’s Club Membership is not required but proof of military service required.

Sea World — Admission is free for active military duty personnel and up to three dependents for Sea World Orlando, San Diego, or San Antonio, Busch Gardens Tampa Bay or Williamsburg, Sesame Place, Adventure Island, or Water Country USA. Some exclusions. One per person per year. ID required.

Sleep Number — Veterans get a mattress discount, free shipping on bed sets, and special discounts through Nov. 14, 2010.

Universal Studios (Hollywood, CA) — Military discounts are offered year round to military retirees, DOD personnel, members of the National Guard/Reserves, dependents and all other base personnel when you buy tickets in advance through participating MWR/ITT offices or through the mail.

Uno Chicago Grill – Get a free meal or pizza when you show up in uniform, have a picture of you in uniform, or have military ID. Nov. 11, 2010 only. No coupon needed.

Spreading Kindness and Love with a Recorded Call

In honor of World Kindness Week, I wrote up an article about my "Giving a Gift of Love" idea and I'm hoping people will download it and pass it around.

Basically, the idea is to have the friends and family of the intended recipient call in to a conference call with messages of love and then record the call. With the recordings you can create a CD as a gift for the recipient to save and listen to whenever he wants. I'm doing this as a Thanksgiving surprise for my friend, Craig Dunham, who is a victim of ALS.

This idea has turned out to be a really fun experience for everyone involved. All the people who are participating are grateful to have this chance to send their love to Craig in this manner. I really can't wait to give him this recording so he can hear what a difference he's made in so many lives. Talk about kindness... Craig is the man. He's kind even when he can't move or talk! You can just see the kindness in his eyes.

This is especially a wonderful gift for Craig. Since he can't move or talk any more, he can't just pick up the phone and have a conversation with all the people he loves. But he can still hear and he can still love and I feel so lucky that I thought of this way that I could bring a whole bunch of love to him for the Thanksgiving holiday.

Now the rest of you out there CAN pick up the phone and talk! Isn't it amazing what we all take for granted? So even if you don't want to make a recorded call for someone, you can spread kindness and love every day. Don't forget to tell the people in your life how much they mean to you and how much you love them. It will mean more than you know to both of you.

World Kindness Week - Spread Kindness!

I have been meaning for quite some time to blog about the relationship of love and kindness and it looks like this will be the week! Yesterday I learned that Nov.8 - Nov.13 is World Kindness Week!

I blogged once before about the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation. Well, they have a new website that combines social media and kindness! You know I've gotta be all over that! There's even a game you can play to score points for doing kind acts. (You know how much I like points!)

There are all kinds of inspiring stories, ideas for spreading kindness to the world, and the ability to connect to like-minded kind people. How great is that?

I have found that as I surround myself with kind people (whether those be virtual friends or people I see in life all the time) my life just becomes more full of love and happiness. Sometimes my heart is just so full I can't express it. I have some people in my life who are kind beyond words... These people give so freely of themselves whether it be with a check for a good cause, a prayer, a vote in the latest competition, or just an encouraging word. If that's not love, I don't know what is.

I have spread the word about a lot of things since I started getting involved with social media and blogging... some of them have been purely for myself (like asking people to sign up for Jazzed so I could win an iPad) and some have been for other people... asking people to help a girl with Cerebral Palsy, asking for votes for a Children's Hospital, asking for prayers for those in need.

In all those cases, spreading the word made a big difference! Kindness spreads!

So, this week I'm going to blog all I can about kindness and this Random Acts of Kindness Website. Come join! Let's spread the word of kindness!