One of the activities for my Love Party was to have people give me their favorite love quotes. Even people that weren't able to attend the party were able to participate.
Even though the party is over, I still want to continue to collect love quotes! Add a favorite love quote to the guest book or just in the comment section of this blog.
And if you want to get some ideas, there are plenty of places on the Web to peruse love quotes... Print out a few and post them around your house. It's always good to have those love reminders!
As I was searching around, I even found a site that would generate a "quote of the day" for your blog! These include more than quotes about love, but they're all good, so "Today's Quote" is getting added to my blog thanks to ThinkExist.com!
I have to admit, I don't really believe in any of this astrology stuff, but that doesn't stop me from reading my horoscope. I figured it would be particularly entertaining to find out what my "sex horoscope" had to say so I checked it out.
I'm a Pisces, so I figured my horoscope would be something fishy. Being compared to a fish in bed would not be particularly flattering. And kissing like a fish? No thank you. I could see maybe suggesting waterbeds or hot-tubs, but when I read what the Sex Horoscope had to say it had nothing to do with fish or water.
Here's what it says about Sex with Pisces:"Blah, blah, blah... Pisces are very good at, and love role play. Acting fully in their roles. They like to seduce... blah, blah, blah" (Execuse the blah, blah's, but unless you're a Pisces, you probably don't care about it and will want to go check out your own horoscope.)
I don't know about the blah, blah parts, but the role play thing is absolutely right about me! I DO like to role play! I like to play in general, especially when it involves dressing up. I could even see myself dressing up like a fish if I were challenged to do so (though a mermaid might be sexier.) Maybe there's something to this astrology thing after all...
Just for grins, I decided to try another site and I found this one in which I plug in the sign of the person I'd like to seduce! I wanted to find out what the object of my seduction would most appreciate if I were to seduce with role play.When I plugged in his sign the advice I was given was:
... look as scrumptious as possible whenever you're in your Scorpio's presence. They will appreciate natural sex appeal -- or what appears to be natural.
Scrumptious, eh? Perhaps a fish costume is in order after all... Which do you think is more scrumptious...shrimp or lobster? I think I'll go with lobster... Oh yeah. Mr. Scorpio, you are gonna be in for a seduction like none other. I bet you'll never even know what pinched ya!
On Saturday night, I finally had the party I'd been talking about for years. I've said many times that if I wasn't married again by the time I was 50, then I wanted to have a big 50th birthday party that would be like a wedding... Who needs a groom?
When I got laid off last summer, I realized the budget would have to be cut, but I was determined to still have a big party to celebrate love. I also figured I might as well celebrate my book release at the same time since The Laptop Dancer Diaries: A Mostly True Story About Finding Love Again is, indeed, a book about love.
The party was more than I could have hoped for. Better than a wedding! I didn't even have to share the attention with anyone! I was surrounded by so many friends and people I love. Yesterday, I basked in after-party happiness as I slowly cleaned up, coming across cards and gifts that were left for me. There just is no thank you note to express my gratitude, but I'll try. Here are some of the people I'd like to thank:
* All the people who played the "party game", sending music, photos, videos, and leaving love quotes on my party site. Special thanks to Lori Genuchi who not only scored the most points, but wore a beautiful gown with special meaning.
* Rebecca Ritter and her daughter, Miriam, who took took me shopping at Costco for all the party food.
* Lynn Tidd, the flower genius, who made the most beautiful flower arrangements ever!
* Mr. 2010 who worked to give me a beautiful basement stairwell, newly painted with recessed lighting before the party, took me shopping for all the booze, took pictures, served drinks, provided a party game, and basically was perfect in every way.
* Craig Dunham, the man who's taught me the most about faith and who came from Evergreen and dare-deviled his wheelchair over precariously steep steps -- and Kirk Ryder for helping him get here.
* All the friends and family who were remote, but still sent me emails, called me, or participated in the party, including Ian Usher, who even sent a video from Nepal.
* Rebecca Mullen who sent me the special Optimizer Elixir package and video to help me promote my book. Her support and encouragement is unparalleled.
* Brian Thulson who learned, sang, and recorded Hallelujah with the new lyrics so that I could create a slideshow put to music. (This also saved my guests from having to listen to me try to sing the song!)
* All the friends who brought creative cards and gifts representing love (satisfying both the inner-Devil and inner-Angel!) I had so much fun opening them and finding fun surprises!
* All the people who have read, critiqued, edited, bought, or were IN the book! Thank you for such support.
* Chris Tidd, my good-natured son-in-law with the wonderful sense of humor who managed to make me look forward to being the subject of a roast.
* My three incredible children: Meg Tidd, Matt Podlogar, and Scott Podlogar. I can't even begin to tell you how proud I am, so I won't try. Just suffice to say that they were the best birthday presence ever.
The acknowledgment section of my book tells the story of a time I was lost on the first day of 3rd grade. My first grade teacher helps me and smiles such a warm smile and I vow to remember her smile forever. I told that story at my party and made "love notes" for my friends to remind them of a time they did a kindness for me that I'll keep with me always, like that smile.
Well, the party was a whole lot of smiles piled together into one enormous bear hug that comforts me so deeply. No matter what ups and downs life will bring, I will close my eyes and remember that feeling. No matter who moves in and out of my life, there is one thing I know will not change. I am loved. And just like Mrs. Lehman's smile, I will vow to remember that love and keep it with me forever.
This time Snow has gone too far. Hey, I've told him all along that I was never serious. I've always been honest with him and told him that he needs to give me space, but he refuses to listen to me. He can be SO flaky! By Spring, I admit, I'm fed up. I'm highly intolerant of his presence and I just need to get away. I'd planned my escape for a Spring Break surprise visit to Sacramento. When I heard on the radio that Snow was planning on visiting Denver at that time, I taunted, "Ha Ha, Snow! Go ahead and come to Colorado while I'm gone! I'll be basking in California with the one I really love..Sun. He is something you'll never be... HOT!"
Well, it appears this maddened Snow because then he proceeded in making my life miserable. As I inched my way to the RTD park-n-ride yesterday, he splattered my windshield. To add insult to injury, he completely dumped on me when I got out of my car. Soaked and blinded by the mascara-induced tears, I unsuccessfully attempted to push soggy bills into the parking machine. Snow may have thought I'd succumb to this madness, but I persevered, willing to get a parking ticket if necessary.
I rode the very late and very slow bus and rejoiced that I could ignore Snow and let the bus driver deal with him. I'd given myself extra time and knew I soon would be free of his nasty tantrum.
But it was not to be. Snow continued his hissy-fit by attacking the plane, leaving airline personnel telling us every half hour that "they were working on de-icing." I felt a twinge of guilt for not warning them that it was all my fault. I never should have snubbed Snow. I looked out the window and tried to make up: "Snow, you're beautiful and I love you at Christmas, but please... let me go visit Sun! Do you realize you're not just detaining me, but all these other people? Even that poor young mother with the infant and increasingly loud and annoying toddler?"
Snow didn't listen. After 4 hours of waiting, the airline personnel finally cancelled the flight and told us we could rebook at the counter between gates 35 and 36. I calmly proceeded to the counter to find a line that most certainly must have been the longest line in recorded history. Where's Guinness with his World Record book when you need him? Since I hadn't been able to get a workout in, I appreciated the mile long trek to the back of the line. The poor mother and her screaming toddler were close behind me. I remembered the days when Megan was a screaming toddler and how upset I was when I'd heard an impatient man saying: "They should put a muzzle on that kid." At last, I could finally understand how that man felt.
When standing in lines at amusement parks, Scotty and I often play a game where we calculate our estimated wait time, based on our observations of how quickly the line is moving and our placement in line. We're experienced enough at this now that we're amazingly accurate. With this perfected algorithm, I calculated that if I stayed in that line, I would have been at the front at 3:05pm March 31, 2011. I decided I'd be better off trying to catch the last bus home and calling Frontier to try and get rebooked.
I dug my car out of the Park-n-Ride parking lot, braved the midnight storm, and tunnelled my car through the unplowed neighborhood streets, not getting stuck until I got to the edge of my driveway. I stepped out of the car, sinking and tripping, Snow filling my shoes and caking my pants as I lugged my suitcase and laptop up my driveway trying to keep them out of Snow's wet grasp. I did not give Snow the satisfaction of reacting. I simply said, "Fine... Stay tonight. But if you think I'm going to be lying down and making snow angels with you, you are sadly mistaken."
Today Snow has calmed down a little and I'm trying again to go visit Sun. Snow can be a tumultuous wind-bag, but I admit, he has a side to him that can be peaceful. If only he'd learn not to push the limits, I might even enjoy him. We'll get through this. He'll melt and next year I'll enjoy his sparkles.
But for now... I'm off to visit Sun at last! Hooray!
It's time for me to start getting serious about promoting The Laptop Dancer Diaries. Self-promotion feels a little weird, but I know it must be done.
I was telling my friend, Rebecca Mullen of Altared Spaces, that in order to get visibility into your blog, one strategy is to find others that are blogging about similar things.
There are several blog catalogs and different methods for doing this, but one easy way is simply to google. In my case, I googled "Love Blogs" and quickly found an article at All Women' Stalk called: 10 Best Love Blogs for Women!
What a treasure chest of great blogs and love stuff! Well, the problem, of course, is then you find so much great information that you spend all day reading and get distracted and never end up blogging yourself.
So, I'm just going to take one resource at a time and try to blog as much as possible about "All things LOVE" and today the resource I'll point you to is All Women' Stalk.
First, the title... The play on words is Totally Cool!! I much prefer "All Women's Talk" to "All Women Stalk" as the FaceBook Fan Page has it listed -- but Talk/Stalk... OK we do both. I hate to think of myself as a "stalker," but... I suppose there are times when I've been infatuated enough to fall into that mode. One of my friends once had this great quote about stalking. It was something like: "The difference between a secret admirer and a stalker depends on whether or not the object of their affection wants their attention." I'm going to assume any person that I'm interested in would like that I'm interested in them, and thus absolve myself from any "stalker guilt."
In any case, I perused the site and it looks like a good women's eZine. The main menu shows categories for Fashion, Beauty, Celebrities, Love, Dieting, Wellness, and Lifestyle. I, of course, honed right in on the "Love" category, 'cause, again, I'm preparing to be the Love Know-it-All. Under Love, there is Dating Tips, Breakup Tips, Sex Tips, Relationships, and Wedding.
All of that is interesting to me, so... where to begin? Well the first article that is up today in the Love Category is: Top 12 Seduction Tricks That Always Work on Guys. Hmmm! I think I could definitely benefit from reading that. In the sequel to The Laptop Dancer Diaries, I could try and use a new seduction trick on each man-of-the-month! Actually, since the sequel is going to be mostly untrue, this is sounding like a very achievable goal! (But, of course, I just MAY need to do a little research along the way...)
I love the music of the song Hallelujah, but the lyrics are sad so I've rewritten them.
Hallelujah - The Love Song
Well, I heard there was a secret chord To teach us love and it pleased the Lord So I vowed to learn and tell the story to you. Well it goes like this: you find your gift And when you fall, you know you'll lift The baffled girl composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Well, your faith was strong; despite the pain Not for a moment did you complain The sickness seeping, deeper and deeper through you You smiled from your wheeled chair You wrote a book of dreams you shared And from your lips you still prayed Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Friends I've seen you here before I've seen you cry as we've walked this floor You know, I was alone before I knew you And now we've grown as we embrace We've learned to run a victory race It's a warm and it's a lovely Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Well there's a time I know I'm blessed I gaze upon my babes at rest And know my love is more than I can tell you I remember when the babe was you And now you're grown and have one too And every breath it's true is Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah
I know there is a God above And all I've ever learned from love Was how to find somebody who saw through you To laugh and cry and hold at night To find someone who's seen the light It's a warm and it's a joyous Hallelujah
I never published this Epilogue... I haven't written about my dating life since I wrote The Laptop Dancer Diaries because I've wanted to respect the privacy of my dates. This guy, in particular, is very private. We broke up recently, mostly because of the differences in our communication styles. I've changed his name and asked if I could publish this and he agreed. I learned a great lesson from his son and it's something I wanted to share...
Epilogue
January 1, 2010
Last night I spent New Year’s Eve enjoying the evening with three cute guys. Two of them were the children of the man I’m dating, but they were very cute, just the same. As for the man – Jason – well, he’s much more than cute.
The The Laptop Dancer Diaries took place in 2008. In 2009, I did some dating, but with little expectation of finding a mate. I was content with my life and felt ready to accept a fate of singleness. Then for some reason, last month, I got the urge to explore the world of online dating one more time before I crossed over into that decade I’d been dreading for so long – the fifties.
The first profile I came across was Jason’s. His profile included only a couple of sentences but contained just the adjectives and descriptions that were most important to me… playful, confident, love of children, spiritual. He was 48, so entirely age-appropriate. His face smiled out from his profile photo and my heart felt that little tingle of hope.Of course, if you’ve read the book, you know my history with online dating is pretty dismal. I have learned people are usually much better in their profiles than in real life.
Not so with Jason. Our first meeting was at a cozy pub that he’d suggested. We sat in front of the fire and chatted and I immediately liked him. I always thought when I found the right guy, I’d know it. There would be no questions or fears or worries. I’d just know he was right. And that’s exactly what I felt.
Amazingly, Jason liked me, too. Two days later, I was having a romantic dinner at his house. Soon after that, I was relaxing in his hot tub, feeling snowflakes on my face, looking up at the sky and feeling like I’d found a piece of heaven.
The happy surprises continued as I got to know Jason better. His children are polite and sweet – such little gentlemen who charm me with their smiles and giggles.Last night, Jason let me share in the good-night rituals, and when 11-year-old Connor reached out his arms for a hug and kiss good-night, I choked back a tear – I was so moved by his innocent acceptance and affection. Could I already love this little family when I’ve only just met them?
My relationship with Jason is too new for me to declare that I’ve fallen in love. Those words scare me. What if he doesn’t feel the same way about me? I don’t think I can survive another broken heart.
But I think about that innocent affection that Connor showed me and know I want to be like that. I want to love without fear. If it doesn’t last forever, it will hurt, but I’ll survive. And if I don’t take the risk, I will never know what might have been. Even if it only lasts a month or a week or a day or an hour …I want to know the joy of loving someone.
I started this book looking for a cookbook approach to falling in love and I think I’ve found the answers. Find out who you are. Take risks. Live life to the fullest. Live like you are the protagonist of a book. Love all the people around you – your friends, your family, your pets and even your laptop, if you want.Love God, life, the ocean and the mountains. Figure out what’s right for you and don’t let anyone – not even your inner-angel or inner-devil guilt you into doing anything you don’t want to do. Love yourself.
And when that right person comes along, love like a child that’s never been hurt -- reach out your arms and give of your heart. Trust that whether it lasts for a minute or for a lifetime, it will be worth it.
What's the secret to falling in love? The Laptop Dancer Diaries is a story of my year-long journey as a single mom, determined to figure it out.
I realize something is wrong when the closest thing I have to a boyfriend is my laptop. Sure he's easy to turn on, but his performance is not what it used to be. I want more. I vow to venture out into the real world, take more risks and conquer my insecurities.
My three resolutions: to have an adventure a month, to fall in love, and to write a book, are all intertwined, resulting in a story that will inspire readers to follow their dreams. By sharing my honest, hilarious and often embarrassing stories, older singles will discover the ups and downs of dating in the millennium. The secret to falling in love is revealed at last in the surprising conclusion.
My friend, Craig Dunham, is afflicted with ALS (more commonly known as Lou Gehrig's disease.) He can only move one finger these days, but he's more alive than anyone I know. I still see that same playful spirit in his eyes, challenging me to live life to the fullest.
I recently had an email conversation with Craig that he's given me permission to share. I'm getting ready to publish The Laptop Dancer Diaries, and I wanted to make sure he'd be OK with what I'd written about him. Craig has a special keyboard that can be strapped to his chair, close to his mobile finger, allowing him to use the computer.
I'd sent him what I'd written, and because I knew it was hard for him to type, I'd given him multiple choice options with option A being "It's OK to publish as is." Craig wrote me back a full poem that touched me. He is such an amazing man. In order to understand the poem, scroll down to the end so you can see the thread of emails.
I wanted to share how inspiring Craig is. There really are no words to describe, so this is the best I can do...
Note: I got an email from Amy Whipple of www.als.net telling me that progress is being made towards a cure to ALS. Please visit the website to see how you can help. ---- From: Craig Dunham Date: Sun, Feb 14, 2010 at 9:38 PM Subject: RE: Need your approval! To: Yvette Francino
Oh my dearest of all dear friend,
a speechless response I'm tempted to send.
I simply don't know the words to say,
my eloquent prose - reduced to an (A).
Yes it is hard for me to type,
but not my style no sir-eee, to gripe.
No time for that, cryin' in beer is pure crap,
'The Sunny Side of Life' is the name of my roadmap.
For your kind words comes my deepest gratitude,
your book, your words, my gift - wide latitude.
Humor, honesty, humility, I love your style,
Everything about you results in a perpetual smile.
No question you bring out the best in me,
and YOU are perfect in God's eyes, don't you see?
So rest your head and sleep well tonight,
your spirit glows with the most brilliant light.
Love, Craig
From: Yvette Francino [yvette.francino@gmail.com] Sent: Sunday, February 14, 2010 5:25 PM To: Craig Dunham; Craig Dunham Subject: Need your approval!
Hi Craig,
Thank you so much for the Valentine surprise today! Yum! How thoughtful of you to think of me! Hey, I'm sorry that I'm going to have to ask you to answer this quickly, but I have to get this final version of my book in tonight, if possible. I rewrote the sections about you and I want to make sure you're OK with the changes. You have no idea how deeply you fill my heart. I love and admire you more than you'll ever know and I wish somehow I could share these deep feelings with the world. However I want to respect your privacy and feelings as well.
Please read the sections below and let me know what you think. I know it must be hard for you to type so I'll give you some choices and you can just type in the letter response:
A) I'm OK with you using it just this way.
B) You can use it, but change my name to Greg.
C) I prefer you don't use this.
D) It's OK, but what happened to the scene about the Deer Tick inspector?
E) Other
Just so you know the answer to D.... I wanted to write about the Deer Tick inspector, but that was in the PWP forum, so I no longer have the story. Of course, I will always remember it as my introduction to one of my dearest (or is that "deerest"?) friends ever.
As I limp to the concert, feeling about as sexy as a wounded dog, I hear Bitch talking about some "50-year-old dirty old man” that's after her. (I think this is enough to turn off Craig who is close to 50 himself, so I now have an ally in my distaste for Bitch.) She's quite drunk by this time and obviously thoroughly smitten with her own humor and sex appeal. Chet, similarly imbibed, is entertained and enjoying the attention from Bitch and her friend. I'm not entertained in the least. Having sobered up, I realize there will be no seduction moves tonight. At least not from me!
Angel:I'm sorry, Dear, but, you know it was for the best.
Devil: Wuss... You could at least have a nice little cat fight. Another disappointing night.
May 12 8am
This morning, when I opened my front door, I found a beautiful bouquet of flowers in a big green vase on my doorstep. The card simply had my name on it and said “Somebody loves you.” Today would have been my 24th Wedding Anniversary. Could it possibly be from my ex-husband? One of my kids? No one ever mentioned my anniversary before. Could I have a secret admirer?
May 12 5pm
Mystery solved. The flowers were from my friend, Craig. You may remember that Craig came to my rescue by providing male attention at the Kool in the Gang concert on my January date-of-the-month. Boy Toy Chet had invited two young ..ahem.. women, along and I needed to even out the male/female ratio.
Well, I recently sent Craig a care package and the flowers were his way of thanking me. In true “Craig-style” he sent me a funny email telling me that he’d taken on a new flower-delivery job and that he’d delivered a bouquet to my home this morning. “From the looks of that bouquet, someone must love you very much!” he wrote.
The email made me cry. I’ve been crying a lot. I haven’t written about it because… well, this is supposed to be a humor book, and there’s nothing funny about this. Craig was recently diagnosed with ALS – more commonly known as Lou Gehrig’s disease.
I’ve been thinking a lot about faith. How could someone so devout, so loving – so “Craig” – how could someone that epitomizes goodness be stricken with this disease? He’s 47 with three kids. I can’t bear to imagine this world without him. I question God, unable to understand why this is happening.
But Craig doesn’t question for a minute. His faith remains stronger than ever. He tells me he’s not afraid. He wrote in his email telling of his prognosis:
“I especially appreciate the opportunity to show my children how life can be lived without anger, resentment, bitterness or regrets. I have purged all of that from my life and intend to leave this life with nothing but love, acceptance, forgiveness and compassion in my heart. I am so ready to live life to its fullest. I only wish I would have thought to do it sooner.”
I have so much admiration and respect for this man. I wish I could experience half the devotion and faith that he has. His courage inspires me more than words can say.
Craig doesn’t spend a minute feeling sorry for himself. I cry at the thought of losing him and realize that that is the last thing he’d want me to do. He would want me to follow his example, love God, and “live life to the fullest.”
From this day forward, whenever my faith is shaken; whenever I’m feeling sorry for myself or feeling angry at life’s little injustices, I will think of Craig and remember his amazing attitude.
God, I don’t get it, but I will try to be more like Craig and hold off on the questions. Just please fill the rest of Craig’s life with love and happiness and give him a special place in Heaven when he gets there. I’m sure You know, there’s no one that deserves it more.
Since The Laptop Dancer Diaries is about Adventure, maybe the next book will be like one of those "choose your own adventure" books... The same stories, but going down a different path.
I've been thinking it would be fun to rewrite, the Laptop Dancer Diaries, but to make the book "mostly untrue" the next time around.
The first book is "mostly true." In each chapter, my inner Angel and inner Devil argue about decisions I should make. I think it might be fun to go back and make the opposite decision. Since the book would be fictional, I could be outrageous in the outcomes.
Now, to make this even more interesting, I thought it might be fun to make it a collaborative project. How about YOU all help me rewrite the book?
I might host a contest for each "month" to come up with the "untrue" version. Of course, I couldn't offer any fortune, but, it could lead to fame.... Most of all, I think it would just be fun.
One of the activities for my Love Party was to have people give me their favorite love quotes. Even people that weren't able to attend the party were able to participate.
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