Final Website Roundup: Dating Sites! #love2011

OK, Love Project followers, today is my final "Website Wednesday" (and it's not even Wednesday). It's the last day of the quarter, so I'm wrapping up "Part 1" of the Love Project.

Part 2 is going to continue on with this week's theme: Dating. I want to stress, however, that this is not going to be limited to "romantic" dating or single's topics. Dating is about sharing love and attention with someone. It doesn't have to be a romantic partner. Surprisingly, most (if not all) of the dating blogs and sites cater to singles. That is one way where my focus will be different. Dating is even more important when you're married or in an established relationship.

In my Boulder Dating examiner column today, I challenged people to go on at least one date every week for the next 13 weeks. I hope you all will take the challenge as well and leave me comments.

In preparation for that, it's only appropriate that the final Website Roundup be about the best dating sites. I will continue to add these to my Love Links page as I find more. If you stumble across a good dating or relationships site, let me know.

Love Project MVP

A huge and final Website Wednesday thank you to Shirley Rivera, Girl Nutkin in the BA who is most definitely the Love Project MVP and a wonderful friend, for all her support.

Dating Blogs and Websites

(Note: I'm not necessarily recommending these blogs and websites. Some of them have content or ascribe to theories that I don't always agree with, but I always think it's good to be informed, regardless of whether or not we agree. As I have more time, I will read some of these more thoroughly and maybe give a review.

General Dating:

Elsie's Dating Adventure

Nic and Neely's Dating Marketplace

The Urban Dater

Ask Love Coach Rinatta

Online Dating

It's Not a Match

Boomer Love:
Adventures in Delicious Dating over 40
After 40 dating tips

Dating Advice for Men:
Dating Tips and Dating Advice by David Wygant

Dating Skills Review

Cupid's Dating Tips

Pick up "games"
Hooking Up Smart

Citizen's Renegade

Haley's Halo

The Private Man

Websites

AskMarsVenus

Love Prospector

Assignment 13: Go on a date!

Assignment 13: Go on a date! It does not have to be a "romantic" date. It can be with a friend of either sex, or your kid (though mine insists that rather than "date" I refer to these one-on-one experiences as "outings" or "excursions.") Absolutely, if you are married or in a relationship, go out with your significant other! If you're single, maybe take the plunge and ask out someone you're attracted to, but if there's no one in particular that you're feeling romantic about, then shower that pent-up attention on someone you love.

OK, Love Project Fans, we are winding down on the first quarter of 2011, and the Love Project is going to veer into a new, but related, direction in Q2, with the focus on dating.

Now, just as I said in the assignment, dating does not have to be about romance. And it doesn't have to be restricted to singles! In fact, I have much more fun dating when I'm in a long-term relationship than when I'm dating someone I don't know too well, so I don't know why we so often associate "dating" with being single.

I have decided that for my 52nd year (which started the week of my 51rst birthday) that I would go on a date a week... or 52 dates. Since I'm not requiring these to be "romantic" dates, this has been easy and lots of fun! Here is my definition of a date:

Spending one-on-one time giving attention to and receiving attention from someone I care about and enjoy being with.

My goal is to have at least one date of this type each week, going to a different place each week. I enjoy coming up with unique date ideas and spending quality time with the people in my life.

Now, of course, I do want some romance, too, so I'm not ruling out traditional romantic dates... I'm hoping to have my share of those throughout the year, too. But dating doesn't have to mean romance. It's more about sharing time and attention with someone.

And, of course, this will tie in very nicely with my new Boulder Dating Advice column on examiner.com. Be sure to check that out and subscribe!

Website Wednesday: What's Your Story?

This week on the Love Project, we're talking about "Your Story."

Love Project MVP

First, of course, we have Love Project's MVP, Shirley Rivera, author of girlnutkin in the BA, in which Shirley shares so selflessly, often spreading messages of optimism and love. I am constantly inspired by her.

In her most recent post, she shared a very beautiful song by Jeremy Passion, Stephanie, about a girl with lupus.



The song reminded Shirley of her friend jengyee, who died from lupus at the young age of 25.

Bloggers

LinkedIn: The Blog Zone - A Community of Bloggers

If you're a blogger, you might want to check out The Blog Zone Group on LinkedIn. A couple of months ago, Mike Clough of America's Best Business Practices started a discussion thread titled: Introduce Yourself - Tell Us Your Story. So far, there are 172 responses from bloggers describing their blogs. (You can also leave a comment here and I'll add your blog to my Love Links page.)

Memoir Writing
Memory Writers Network
Top 50 Blogs on Memoirs
Write My Memoirs

Website Wednesday: Gratitude Blogs and Websites

It's Website Wednesday for the Love Project and this week's theme is Gratitude.

Love Project MVP:

girlnutkin in the BA: #love2011: week 11 on gratefulness

Blogs about Gratitude
Project Give Thanks
Ramblings (And the author of this blog is named Yvette, too!)
365grateful
1000 Awesome Things
The Daily Gratitude Blog
365 Days of Gratitude Photoblog

Websites about Gratitude
Gratefulness.org
GratitudeRadio
Gratitude Directory
Gratitude Website Directory

Assignment 11: Say Thank You - #love2011

We start a new week on The Love Project and this week the theme is Gratefulness.

Assignment 11: Be consciously aware of the people in your life each day who help you and thank them, either with a heart-felt 'thank you,' or by following up with an email, a card, or some other token of thanks. If you write a blog post or comment, let me know, and I'll feature you on Website Wednesday.

Background:

We hear often that gratefulness is a key to happiness. Many people keep "grateful journals," ending the day reminding themselves of things they are grateful for.

This week the Happiness Inside Book Club is talking about a book 365 Thank Yous. I don't have the book yet, but it's on my list of books to read. It's about a man who's life changed when he wrote a thank you card each day for a year to the people in his life.

Along those same lines, my friend Sonja Knaisch, just started Project Give Thanks. This is a project which will support breast cancer survivors with card art. Sonja, a breast cancer survivor herself, speaks of the gratefulness she felt from the support of so many people as she was going through her treatments.

Every day, we interact with people who are helping us... checking us out at the grocery store, (I'm referring to the people at the cash register... not the ones who are noticing how sexy we are.. but I'm grateful for those people, too.) Friends support us with a call or email... someone gives us a nice comment on a blog or Facebook. There are so many ways we help one another. Take the time to let people know you appreciate them. Thank them!

Assignment 10: Do Something Romantic

This week on the Love Project we are going to explore Romance.

Assignment 10: What does romance mean to you? This week spend some time making a list of what you find romantic. Then pick one of those ideas and experience some romance either on your own or with someone else. Write a comment or a blog post and I'll feature you on Website Wednesday and on my Love Links page.

Background: A couple of days ago I wrote about the "romantic" relationship I had with an old man I'd met by volunteering in a nursing home. We tend to think "romantic relationships" must be "sexual relationships" but they don't have to be. Romance can be experienced with friends, family, or even on our own. Of course, most of us associate romance with "romantic love." If we're at a beautiful, romantic place, we want to be sharing that with a romantic partner and it can be kind of depressing to be on our own while we see all the other love-birds around us, being all inappropriately smoochy. Instead of enjoying the romance and beauty, we can sit there pouting about how we are "all alone." To that I say "Bbrerrrsr" <- This is the sound that goes with pursing your lips and blowing... kind of like sticking your tongue out, but with sound. (I'm going to have to research the word for this action and the correct way to spell the corresponding sound, but basically it means, "Stop feeling sorry for yourself and enjoy the romance!")

We spend so much time in this life wanting to be validated by others. We feel in order for romance to be real, someone else has to tell us we're beautiful. We need to get flowers or attention. We need to be holding hands or kissing. Sure... those things are wonderful and we all want them. And if you have a romantic partner in your life, then take full advantage of that. Lavish your partner with the kind of romance they most enjoy.

But, if you don't have it... if you're single... it doesn't mean you have to give up on romance. Romance others, romance yourself... Gaze at the moon, the mountains, the ocean and feel the love in the world and know that you are part of it. Let a breeze embrace you, giving you tingles. Let snowflakes fall on your face. Let the smiles from strangers fill you with a sense of peace. Know that you're loved, with or without a romantic partner.

And last, but not least, tell those annoying love-birds to get a room...

Website Wednesday: The Best of Rejection

This week on The Love Project we're talking about Reframing Rejection.

Love Project MVP

Girl Nutkin in the BA: #love2011: gathering week 8 thoughts

Videos
Jon Friedman & Rejection Show Videos

Blogs and Websites about Rejection

Rejection Blog: The best of job rejections
Literary Rejections on Display

Articles

Reframing Rejection
Handling Rejection and the Law of Attraction

Assignment 8: Rejoice in Rejection - #love2011

A new week, brings a new theme to the Love Project: Reframing Rejection.



Assignment: Write about a time you were rejected and realized that it turned out to be a good thing. Maybe it opened a new door for you. Maybe it gave you material for a book or comedy routine (see video!) Maybe it motivated you to keep trying. Maybe it helped you finally get out of a relationship that wasn't good for you. If you leave a comment or write a blog post, I will feature your blog on Website Wednesday.

Extra Credit: Use humor! Find a funny story or video (or make your own!) and let me know about it and I'll include it on the Friday Funny post.

Background: The Love Project is about giving and receiving love. In order for this to really work, you have to start by loving yourself (hence, the early assignments related to self-love.) Now, if you've done your homework and love yourself, then it is much easier to handle rejection. You don't let rejection derail you. You realize that with rejection and disappointment comes new growth. Or maybe you just learn to laugh at yourself. Everyone has insecurities. Everyone does stupid, embarrassing things once in awhile. Everyone gets rejected sometimes. It's in talking about it and laughing about it that we can feel bonded with others. Who do you relate more to? The perfect person who never admits to a failure? Or the person who has experienced rejection and failure, but keeps getting back on that horse? Which kind of person do you want to be?

Friday Funnies: Funny Love Notes

This week on The Love Project we're talking about Love Notes.

The video is a kind of cute little video of a man struggling for the right words for his love note.

Do you like to use humor in your writing? I know for me, a sense of humor is very important, so I love a little humor mixed in with a "love note." The best way I've found to do this is to remember a time the two of you laughed together and then refer to it in your note... sometimes writing a little poem where only the two of you will "get" the joke is the best kind of humor in a "love note."

For example, I once had a boyfriend who was very proper and told me he never farted in front of his wife (back in the days when he was married.) He actually went into the bathroom to do his farts. Except one day, he had bad gas so he went to a back bedroom. He told me how his wife came sniffing in like a dog and her nose led her to the bed where he'd been sitting. She actually put her nose right on the mattress where he'd been sitting and wanted to know why it stunk!

When my boyfriend told me this story, we were both laughing uncontrollably. In fact, I'm laughing right now as I'm writing about it. It was just so funny. I teased him that I'd know he really loved me when he felt comfortable farting in front of me.

That Valentine's Day I wrote him a poem. I remember one of the stanzas was something like:

I'll know I've really captured your heart
On that special day when I hear your fart

Of course, there was a lot more -- all very funny. At least we were laughing.

Warning: Wine or other alcohol may be a key in finding humor in something that may sound stupid when sober.

Want more ideas? Check out Funny Love Letters for samples and more hints about how to write funny love letters. And if you look over to the menu on the left, you'll find ideas for all kinds of love letters!

Why Personality Typing Helps Relationships

This week on the Love Project the theme is Know Yourself. Yesterday's Website Wednesday included a bunch of links to personality typing systems, both serious and silly. And those are just the tip of the iceberg.

But are these tests just fun or can they be useful? Today, in my Pick The Brain guest post: What's My Type and Why Should I Care? I explain that by learning about personalities, you discover how different people are and begin to understand not only yourself, but others. From the article:

I used to be confused or take it personally when someone wouldn’t be pleased by the same thing that pleased me. We’re so used to hearing the golden rule: Do unto others as we would have them do unto us. But really, it should be: Do unto others as they would want… which may not necessarily be what we would want ourselves.

Another Pick The Brain article, How to Unleash Your Hidden Power, describes the power of knowing your value and strengths. The author writes:

Defining yourself comes from a combination of articulating your values and acknowledging your strengths. Knowing these things will give you a clear picture of where you want to go and the tools you have to get there.

Knowing yourself and feeling good about who you are is, in my opinion, a pre-requisite to love. You need to start with yourself. That's why, in this love project of mine, I have started with assignments and themes about self-love.

If you haven't done so yet, I hope you'll pop on over to the Know Yourself Assignment and add a one-word comment describing yourself. (Or feel free to leave a longer one or a whole blog post!)

Stay tuned as we have more assignments and fun to love ourselves and others.
Please subscribe to The Love Project and spread the word!

Website Wednesday: Know Yourself - Personality Tests

This week on the Love Project the theme is Know Yourself with an easy assignment of only picking one word to describe yourself.

Bloggers

Once again, Love Project MVP Shirley Rivera wins with not only commenting with her one word, but doing the extra credit and blogging about the experience.

Girl Nutkin in the BA

Other Participants:

Altared Spaces
Aidan Donnelley Rowley @ Ivy League Insecurities

Note: It's not too late to add your comment or participate in any assignment on The Love Project. All bloggers who participate will also be added to the Love Link List.

Websites about Personality Typing Systems

A History of Personality Typing
Myers & Briggs
Enneagrams

Personality Games and Quizzes

QuizFarm
okCupid Tests
Planet Wally

Friday Funnies: Picture-a-Day Spoof - #love2011

This week on The Love Project we've been talking about Self-Portraits. My assignment was only ONE picture, but some people did a lot of extra credit! Check out this spoof on the picture-a-day videos like the type you can find here.

Make a Good First Impression With Your "Sexy" Photo

Why can't I find a guy like this on any of the online dating sites? Isn't he cute in this kind of non-assuming way? Nice eyes, nice smile.

I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but it is amazing how much we "judge" based on a picture. This week we are talking about Self-Portraits on The Love Project, so I wanted to talk about the impressions we give and get, sometimes without even knowing it.

I've become a guest blogger for Pick The Brain (a site I really love about self-improvement.) Today they posted the article I wrote entitled: Three Free Sexy Secrets and one of those secrets was "a genuine smile."

Now, it is a nice little perk for me that Pick The Brain picks out the photo to go with the article (I'm quite lazy about that) and any good blogger knows that posts with photos get more traffic. (Once again, photos are an important differentiator in the world of social media.) But, the photo they picked was a closeup of two lips kissing. The first person who commented said:

"Good topic, bad picture – a little moist, no?"

Yup! I'm a little embarrassed to promote that article because I don't want people to think I picked out that picture.

Sexy stuff is what "sells" -- or so they say. More people will click through on blog posts if they see the word "sexy" or see the hint of a sexy picture. My whole point of that article, though, was that what is "sexy" (at least to me) is a genuine smile of a regular person... not two wet lips getting ready to kiss.

In the book, Blink, Malcolm Gladwell talks about the impressions we make, often without even knowing we are making them. When I see a public self-portrait of someone in an I'm-trying-to-look-sexy pose, I usually think, "They're kinda full of themselves." This is especially true if the context is an online-dating photo. There was one guy who's profile had a bunch of shirtless photos of him doing various exercises. Now true... he had a good-looking body and maybe some women would be impressed, but good body or not, publicly showing it off gave me the impression that this guy was self-centered. I would much rather date a humble, genuine guy with a few extra pounds than someone who is checking himself out in the mirror every 10 minutes

Of course, our first impressions might be wrong. I actually met this guy, and he didn't seem nearly as arrogant as I'd pegged him to be. We didn't end up dating, but I was glad I met him and to know that my quick judgment was not entirely accurate.

I've struggled with kind of a similar issue regarding my book, "The Laptop Dancer Diaries." I've had varied reactions from the title and the cover (designed by my daughter.) The title, of course, is a play on words, combining laptop and lap dancers. So people may think the book is about cyber sex or perhaps the diary of a stripper. I've worried about that because it's really about a woman who is abnormally close to her laptop (ie "geek") trying to be sexy. The review I got that I thought was most accurate was "Erma Bombeck meets Sex and the City." And while I often worry that readers will be disappointed when they find out the book is not all that "sexy," I'm always so flattered to get kind reviews such as this one.

In any case, whether we're talking about book covers, titles or photos, like it or not, we do judge, often without even knowing it. We are attracted to sexy. But sexy can mean different things to different people. For me, it's a smile. What is it for you?

Cool things you can do with your self-portrait photo

Here's the self-portrait I took for Assignment #4 of The Love Project. Oh dear. I notice the flash in the mirror behind me. I also think the photo's kind of grainy... Looks like I still have plenty of room for growth as a photographer, but that's OK. I'm posting this less-than-perfect photo anyway so you can see that the point isn't about taking a perfect picture... It's just about taking one you like. If you're not really happy with the results, keep trying until you get a photo you feel good about.

Once you've done that, save the photo somewhere on your computer that you can easily access because there are all kinds of times where it is really useful to have a photo of yourself that you like handy.

1) For Social Media

Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Blogs and the hundreds of other social media sites out there ask you to upload a photo. Of course, this is usually optional, but studies have shown that the people with photos get noticed! This is true if your looking for a job using LinkedIn, looking for a date on Match.Com, or looking for a friend with a common interest on Meetup.Com

2) For Online Dating Sites

Why is it that so many of the people on online dating sites have terrible primary photos? Seriously, I'm amazed at the number of people that either use a Webcam or are so far away in their photo that you can barely see their face! If you're going to get on the online dating sites then use an up-to-date good picture where you're smiling!

3) Special Effects

There are lots of cool websites that let you do funky things with your photo. You can experment with different colors or make your photo into a cartoon or do other special effects that are cool. I like using Picasa and experimenting. Of course, there are tons of photo editing software packages out there that will let you have some fun. And when you've played around with your photo, many of the packages let you post your altered picture to Facebook.

4) Photo Projects

Photojojo is an awesome site with all kinds of ideas for photo projects. How about making a Daily-Photo Emoticon Magnet? Take a photo of yourself with different expressions for your various "moods" and then you can highlight how you feel each day with a magnetic cutout. This is just one of the many creative projects you might want to make with your photo.

5) Give Yourself A Virtual Makeover

As I mentioned in Week 3's Beauty Website Wednesday lineup, Daily Makeover is a site which will let you upload your image and then experiment with different hairstyles and makeup virtually. This lets you figure out what you want before spending the big bucks on makeup and haircuts.

This week we're focusing on self-portraits, but many of the assignments that I'll be giving for The Love Project will involve photos. So start learning how to use that digital camera (I'm sure most of you already are ahead of me in that department) and start snapping some pictures of the people and places in your life that make you smile.

5 Cool Videos Showing Changes: Daily Self-Portraits

OK, people, my assignment for The Love Project this week is simple. All I'm asking for is ONE self-portrait. One. Not one a day. ONE. If THESE people can take self-portraits in the same place every day, you can take one! Check these out... I especially like the pregnancy one..

Assignment 4: Take a Picture of Someone You Love: You!- #love2011

We are starting Week 4 of The Love Project with a new assignment. Our theme this week is Self-Portraits.

Assignment #4: This week you're going to take a picture of someone you love: yourself! If you've been doing your assignments, you know you're absolutely gorgeous! Get out the camera, learn how to use that self-timer and show your beautiful smile to the world! Know that your smile makes the world a better place. Blog about it or post your picture to Flickr or some other photo site. Send me a link and I'll add it to Website Wednesday.

Extra Credit: Be creative!

Note: If you did last week's assignment feel free to reuse your "after picture."

Want some inspiration? Check out this video:

The True Love Project from Zack Seckler on Vimeo.

Friday Funnies: Makeover Spoof with ExoticJess - #love2011

This week the theme of The Love Project has been Beauty, with an assignment to get a makeover. For those of you who haven't participated yet, you might be interested in this very informative video!

Operation Beautiful - #love2011

I don't think there has been a single day that has gone by since I started The Love Project, that I haven't found or been told about some cool inspiring website. Of course many of them have come from a beautiful source of love: None other than the Love Project MVP, girlnutkin (featured in that photo to the left. Isn't she beautiful?)

Well, lovely girlnutkin turned me on to Operation Beautiful. I will have to add this Website to my Website Wednesday post!

From the Mission page:

The goal of the Operation Beautiful website is to end negative self-talk or “Fat Talk.” If this little blog only does one productive thing, I hope it helps readers realize how truly toxic negative self-talk is — it hurts you emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

Caitlin Boyle, the site's owner and author of "Operation Beautiful: The Book" challenges her readers to a simple task:

Operation Beautiful is simple: all you need is a pen and a piece of paper. If you want to join the mission, send Caitlin an e-mail at OperationBeautiful@gmail.com with a photograph of your Operation Beautiful note or a description of your experience, and I’ll post it on the Operation Beautiful site for thousands of others to read and enjoy!

Oh, I like Caitlin! She gives out assignments, too! I'm on it, Caitlin!

Check out this inspiring video:

Website Wednesday: Beauty Blogs and Products - #love2011

Oh my goodness! There are so many beauty sites on the Web that if I listed them all here this post would go on forever!

Of course, my hope is that some of you readers will start submitting your own posts based on the assignments from The Love Project and I can start listing those on Wednesday. But... you seem to be shy. Where are all the bold bloggers out there?

In the mean time here are some blogs and products to check out:

Operation Beautiful - An inspiring site which tasks people with leaving surprise notes for others to find, reminding them that they are beautiful, exactly as they are.

The Chronicals of a Fierce Fathlete - A fun site recommended by the ever-faithful Love Project MVP, girlnutkin. The ups and downs of health, beauty, and other musings of a modern day woman who has a brain and isn't afraid to use it!

Daily Makeover - This is a fun site that lets you get a virtual makeover! Try it! (For those of you that didn't want to spend the $$ on a real makeover, this can be an alternative to this week's Love Project assignment!)

Best Beauty Blogs on the Internet - This post lists 21 blogs about beauty with links and descriptions.

The Beauty Blog Network - Where you'll find a whole network of people who blog about beauty.
1001 Forever Beauty Tips - Secrets on makeup tips, body, hair, hand, legs & skin care, Also beauty recipes, weight-loss, nutrition, exsercises and more.

Collection of Beauty and Skin Care eBooks

Must-Know Guides to Women's Healthy and Beauty

Dove Evolution YouTube - Campaign for Real Beauty #love2011

This week on The Love Project we are talking about Beauty. Check out this video and Dove's campaign for real beauty.